Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-06

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 5.0)

The graph illustrating data regarding the number of employment which is for four sectors of the economic sector of USA through the years ([redacted phone]).At a glance,the manufacturing sector had the peak moment in 1980 which slowly declined later on and the lowest point of employment stands with agricultural sector which remained in a decreasing state.

Overall,it is evident that,the number of employment interests got higher in both retail and healthcare portions respectively through the years.However,the amount of employment remained in a declining state in both manufacturing and agricultural sectors.Nevertheless,the manufacturing department had the highest level of employment from the year ([redacted phone]) for 20 years which had a declining state later.Employment seekers are less likely to recruit themselves in the agricultural sector. As a consequence,agricultural sector faces a drastic fall as an economic sector.Whereas,employment in the healthcare department nearly rose in a drastic manner through the years which is depicting the development of the healthcare side of economical influence.

In conclusion,the emplyment opportunities for both manufacturing and agricultural part of the economy in USA need to be addressed in order to maintain a balance among all these sectors

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

The response addresses the task partially, attempting to present an overview and select main features from the graph. However, the introduction fails to form a complete, grammatically sound sentence, relying instead on a fragment: 'The graph illustrating data regarding the number of employment...'. While the student identifies key trends—such as the growth in retail and healthcare alongside the decline in manufacturing and agriculture—some parts of the response are underdeveloped or lack precise data support. For instance, mentioning that manufacturing was the highest between 1980 and 2000 is noted, but overall the selection and reporting of data points are somewhat disjointed. To reach a higher level, the response needs a clearer, well-formulated introduction and a more fully developed overview that synthesizes the main trends without getting bogged down in repetitive descriptions.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.0

The essay demonstrates some organization, dividing the content into an introduction, body sections, and a conclusion, but it lacks a clear overall progression. Paragraphing is attempted, but mechanical transitions such as 'At a glance,' and 'In conclusion,' are used awkwardly. Cohesive devices are frequently inadequate, inaccurate, or overused, and referencing is occasionally unclear, such as the pronoun use in 'which had a declining state later.' There is a repetitive structure in how data points are introduced, which impedes smooth reading and logical flow. To improve, the student should focus on grouping related information logically—such as pairing the growing sectors together versus the declining ones—and use a wider variety of cohesive markers naturally rather than relying on formulaic transition phrases.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

The vocabulary used is limited but minimally adequate to convey basic ideas about the graph. There are noticeable lexical errors and awkward collocations that cause some difficulty for the reader, such as 'number of employment' instead of 'number of jobs', 'economic sector of USA', and 'employment seekers are less likely to recruit themselves'. Additionally, words like 'emplyment' contain spelling mistakes. The student attempts some less common vocabulary, such as 'drastic manner' and 'development of the healthcare side of economical influence', but these attempts are marred by inaccurate word choice and form. To achieve a higher band, the student must use more precise terminology related to trends and data reporting, improve collocation awareness, and carefully proofread to eliminate spelling errors.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

The writer employs a limited range of sentence structures, and attempts at complex sentences are frequently faulty. For example, the opening sentence is a relative clause fragment rather than a complete main clause. There are frequent grammatical errors throughout the text, including tense inconsistencies, inappropriate prepositions, and awkward phrasing such as 'remained in a decreasing state' and 'nearly rose in a drastic manner'. Punctuation and spacing issues are also present, as seen in missing spaces after commas. These errors require the reader to occasionally re-read parts of the text to grasp the intended meaning. To progress, the student needs to build better control over basic sentence construction, ensure every sentence has a finite verb, and reduce the frequency of grammatical mistakes in complex clauses.

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