Band 6.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-06

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 6.5)

The line graph illustrates the number of jobs in millions in four sectors : (manufacturing, retail, agriculture, healthcare) of the economy in the US between 1960 to 2020.

Overall, the manufacturing showed the highest at the starting and then gradually decreased over the time, while retail and healthcare increased throughtout the time and meet at the same point. Agriculture fell steadily.

In 1960 there were approximately 6 million jobs in retail, which rose significantly and peaked at around 16 miilion jobs in 2020. Healthcare in 1960 showed the lowest jobs, about 2 millions, which then grew gradually to around 16 million jobs in 2020. Retail and healthcare had the equal jobs in 2020.

Whereas, manufacturing jobs in 1960 were 15 million which peaked at 20 million jobs in 1980, then fell steadily to around 13 million jobs in 2020. Agriculture had roughly 6 million jobs in 1960 which then declined significantly to around 2 million jobs in 2020.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 7.0

You successfully address all parts of the task by presenting a clear overview of the main trends and selecting relevant data points from the graph. Your opening summary accurately captures the categories and timeframe, and your overview effectively highlights the contrasting trajectories of manufacturing versus retail and healthcare, as well as the steady decline in agriculture. You support your descriptions with appropriate figures, such as noting that retail and healthcare both reached around 16 million jobs in 2020. However, some aspects of your reporting tend to over-generalise or lean slightly toward listing individual figures rather than fully developing broader comparisons between all four sectors throughout the entire period. To reach the next level, ensure that every key feature is fully integrated into a more sophisticated comparative analysis.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.5

Your response demonstrates a coherent overall arrangement with a clear logical progression from the introduction to the overview and body paragraphs. You make use of paragraphing to separate different trends, which helps the reader follow your points easily. Cohesive devices are employed to link your ideas, such as using 'Overall', 'In 1960', and 'Whereas' to structure the response. However, cohesion can sometimes feel slightly mechanical rather than entirely natural and fluid. For instance, transitional phrases could be varied more flexibly to connect sentences and clauses more smoothly. Additionally, referencing is mostly clear, but ensuring tighter links between your comparative statements would enhance the overall flow and earn a higher band.

Lexical Resource: Band 6.0

You use an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, successfully attempting less common items related to data trends such as 'gradually decreased', 'fell steadily', and 'peaked at around'. However, there are some minor lexical inaccuracies and awkward word choices, such as writing 'manufacturing showed the highest at the starting' instead of 'the manufacturing sector started with the highest number of jobs', and referring to 'the equal jobs' instead of 'equal numbers of jobs' or 'the same number of jobs'. Spelling is generally accurate, but these occasional slips in collocation and word form prevent the response from achieving a higher score. To improve, focus on refining your phrasing and using precise vocabulary for statistical trends.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 6.0

Your response features a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, demonstrating a reasonable control of grammar and punctuation. You successfully construct complex sentences using relative clauses and transition markers, such as 'which rose significantly and peaked at around 16 million jobs in 2020'. There are some grammatical errors present, such as omitting the noun in 'the manufacturing showed the highest' and missing articles or prepositions in phrases like 'over the time' where 'time' does not require the definite article, or 'throughtout the time and meet at the same point' where tense agreement ('met') is overlooked. Nevertheless, these errors are relatively infrequent and rarely impede communication, allowing your message to remain clear throughout the essay.

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