Band 6.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 6.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-06
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 6.5)
The graph illustrates the multitude of jobs in four different categories; manufacturing, agriculture, retail and healthcare, of financial system of US from 1960 to 2020.
Overall, retail and healthcare sectors have increased their job market across the period. On the other hand Manufacturing and Agriculture shows a declining trend over the period.
The retail and healthcare sector both steadily increased their job ratio to 16 million in 2020, starting from 6 million jobs in retail and 2 millions in healthcare in 1960. As compared to the retail and healthcare, manufacturing sector experiences a drastic change in its trend. It rose to 20 million jobs in 1980 before declining to 13 millions in 2020. While agriculture market also followed a downward trend, starting from 6 million jobs in 1960 to 2 millions in 2020.
In conclusion, retail and healthcare sector are more popular and in trend as compared to manufacturing and agriculture sectors.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 6.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 6.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 6.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 6.0 |
| Overall | 6.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.5
The response covers all parts of the task and presents a clear overview of the main trends. The student selects appropriate key features, noting that retail and healthcare grew while manufacturing and agriculture declined. However, some parts are slightly under-developed; for instance, the peak and subsequent fluctuation in the manufacturing sector are mentioned without fully exploring the comparative rates of change across all four sectors. To reach a higher band, the overview could be more fully integrated with specific data points, and the relationships between the sectors could be described with greater nuance and precision.
Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.5
The response has a clear overall arrangement and follows a logical progression from an introduction to body paragraphs and a concluding summary. Information is generally presented in a sensible order, grouping the rising sectors together and contrasting them with the falling ones. Cohesive devices are used adequately, such as 'Overall', 'On the other hand', and 'In conclusion'. However, referencing and transitions are at times slightly mechanical, for example in the transitional phrase 'As compared to the retail and healthcare, manufacturing sector experiences...', which affects the natural flow of ideas. Better control of cohesive devices and clearer referencing would elevate this aspect.
Lexical Resource: Band 6.0
The student uses an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, successfully incorporating terms related to economic sectors and trends, such as 'multitude of jobs', 'declining trend', and 'downward trend'. There are some attempts at less common vocabulary, though this is accompanied by minor lexical inaccuracies, such as 'multitude of jobs' instead of 'number of jobs', and the phrase 'job ratio' instead of 'number of jobs' or 'employment figures'. Word choice and spelling errors do not impede communication, but to achieve a higher score, the vocabulary needs to demonstrate greater precision, natural collocation, and a wider variety of paraphrasing.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 6.0
The response demonstrates a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, with adequate control over basic structures. There are examples of complex clauses used effectively, such as 'starting from 6 million jobs in retail and 2 millions in healthcare in 1960'. However, some grammatical errors are present, including missing articles ('financial system of US' instead of 'the financial system of the US'), pluralisation errors ('2 millions' instead of '2 million'), and awkward prepositions. These errors rarely impede communication, reflecting the expected control at this level. A greater variety of error-free complex structures and tighter control over articles and prepositions would push this criterion higher.
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