Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-06
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 5.0)
the graph depicts about the number of employments in four sector of the economy in ghe us from 1960 to 2020.
Overall, the manufacturing jobs were highest in 1960 where as healthcare job was lowest but in in 2020 healthcare jobs was highest.
To begin with, manufacturing jobs were 15 million in 1960 afterthat it increase to 20 millions in 1960 after that it rapidly deacread to below 15 million in 2020. Healthcare jobs were nearabout 5 millions then it increase rapidly to more than 15 millions
Moving further, retail jobs were nearabout 5 millions then increased rapidly to more than 15 millions. Near about 5 millions jobs of agriculture than it decreased below than 5 millions in 1960 afterthat it get's stable
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 4.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 4.5 |
| Overall | 5.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.5
The response covers some of the main features and trends in the graph, such as noting that manufacturing jobs were highest in 1960 and healthcare peaked in 2020. However, the response is presented in a very basic way, with limited detail and significant inaccuracies in the data reporting, such as confusing years ('20 millions in 1960' instead of 1980) and inaccurate figures for retail and agriculture. Furthermore, the response is significantly under the 150-word minimum length requirement, cutting off at 123 words, which prevents a fully developed overview and comparison.
Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.0
The essay attempts some basic organisation with paragraph breaks and simple transition markers like 'To begin with' and 'Moving further'. However, there is no clear overall progression, and the logical flow is disrupted by chronological confusion and repetitive sentence structures. Cohesive devices are used mechanically and sometimes inaccurately. Paragraphing is attempted, but the grouping of ideas is disjointed, leading to a response that lacks clear internal cohesion.
Lexical Resource: Band 5.0
The vocabulary used is limited and barely adequate for the task. The student attempts some topic-specific vocabulary such as 'manufacturing', 'healthcare', and 'agriculture', but makes numerous lexical errors and awkward word choices, including 'employments', 'sector' (singular instead of plural), and spelling errors like 'ghe' and 'deacread'. The range is restricted, and frequent basic errors in word form and choice impede smooth reading.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5
The grammatical structures are very limited, consisting mostly of simple sentences alongside flawed attempts at past-tense reporting. There are frequent errors in verb forms and tenses, such as 'depicts about', 'it increase', 'it get\'s stable', and missing articles ('in 2020 healthcare jobs was highest' and 'four sector'). Punctuation is also weak, with missing periods and commas. These frequent errors cause some difficulty for the reader.
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