Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-06

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 5.5)

THE GRAPH REPRESENT THE NUMBER OF JOBS IN THE US IN VARY TERMS OF ECONOMY LIKE MANUFACTURING, RETAIL, AGRICULTURE AND HEALTHCARE BETWEEN 1960 TO 2020.

OVERALL, MANUFACTURING SECTORS STEEPLY INCREASED AND REACHED TO THE APEX IN 1980 WHEREAS, STEADILY DECREASED BY 2020 SUPRASSING RETAIL AND AGRICULTURE .

IN 1960,ABOUT 15 MILLIONS JOBS WAS TAKEN BY MANUFACTURING AND REACHED TO THE PEAK ON 20 MILLIONS BY 1980 . AFTER THAT, IT FACED DRASTIC DECLINE AND MEET 12 MILLIONS JOBS BY 2020. THE RETAIL SECTORS AND THE AGRICULTURE SECTOE BOTH STARTED WITH THE SAME PORPOTION OF JOBS (6 MILLIIONS), RETAIL ROSE DRAMATICALLY AFTER 1960 WHERE IN CASE, AGRICULTURE PIUMMETED DOWN TO 2MILLIONS BY 2020. FURTHERMORE, HEALTHCARE IN 1960 HAS ONLY ABOUT 2 MILLIONS JOBS SECURED BUT SUBSTANTIAL GROWTH WAS SEEN SUPPRASING ALL FOUR TYPES OF ECONOMY EXPECT RETAIL AS BOTH RETAIL AND HEALTHCARE REACHED 16 MILLIONS JOBS BY 2020.IN CONCLUSION WE CAN STATE THAT, RETAIL AND HEALTHCARE HAS BETTER NUMBERS OF JOBS IN THE US.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

The response successfully covers all four sectors of the US economy and identifies key features, such as the peak of manufacturing in 1980 and the ultimate dominance of retail and healthcare by 2020. However, some ideas are developed unevenly or contain minor inaccuracies in data reporting. For instance, the text states that manufacturing reached 12 millions jobs by 2020, whereas the graph indicates approximately 13 million. Furthermore, the overview mentions that manufacturing 'steeply increased and reached to the apex in 1980 whereas, steadily decreased', which is somewhat repetitive and lacks a fully developed summary of the overall trends. While all parts of the task are addressed, the lack of precision in some data points keeps the response at this level, and extending the analysis with more precise comparative figures would help lift it further.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

The essay has a coherent overall arrangement and attempts to structure information logically with an introductory paragraph, body details, and a concluding sentence. However, cohesion is sometimes faulty or mechanical. The use of linking words and transition markers like 'WHEREAS', 'IN 1960', and 'FURTHERMORE' is occasionally awkward, and sentence boundaries are disrupted by a lack of clear referencing. For example, the transition 'where in case, agriculture' is unnatural and confusing. Paragraphing is also compressed, as the main body details are lumped together rather than being clearly divided into logical categories or trends. To achieve a higher band, the writer needs to ensure smoother transitions between sentences and employ more sophisticated referencing to guide the reader seamlessly through the data.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

The student uses an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, successfully attempting less common items related to economic trends, such as 'SUPRASSING', 'PIUMMETED', and 'SUBSTANTIAL GROWTH'. However, there are numerous noticeable errors in word choice, spelling, and word form that occasionally impede communication. Examples include 'VARY TERMS' instead of 'various sectors', 'SUPRASSING' and 'SUPPRASING' for 'surpassing', 'PORPOTION' for 'proportion', 'MILLIIONS' for 'millions', and 'SECTOE' for 'sector'. Additionally, the word 'EXCEPT' is misspelled as 'EXPECT'. These frequent lexical inaccuracies prevent the response from reaching a higher band score, demonstrating the need for greater precision in spelling and collocations when discussing numerical data.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

The response displays a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, attempting structures like comparative clauses and time markers. However, there are frequent errors in grammar, verb forms, and subject-verb agreement throughout the text. Examples include 'THE GRAPH REPRESENT' instead of 'represents', '15 MILLIONS JOBS WAS TAKEN' instead of 'million jobs were taken', and 'HEALTHCARE IN 1960 HAS ONLY ABOUT 2 MILLIONS JOBS SECURED' instead of 'had only about 2 million jobs'. Moreover, punctuation is occasionally misused, and capitalization is erratic throughout the passage. While these errors rarely completely obscure the meaning, their frequency across basic structures means the control of grammar and punctuation needs strengthening to reach a higher band level.

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