Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-06

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 6.0)

The line graph depicts about the proportion of jobs in the sectors of manufacturing, retail, agriculture, and healthcare in the American economy from 1960 to 2020.

Overall,manufacturing sector peaked at first but decreased later over the timeframe while agriculture sector experienced fell of jobs in majority of the years. However, the number of jobs increased in retail and health sectors over the years.

Manufacturing sector stood at 15 million of jobs in 1960 and peaked at 20 million of jobs in 1980. Then it experienced gradually decline trend of jobs till 2020. In 1960, agriculture sector was at approximately 6 million of jobs, remained leved-off from 1980 to 2000 at 3 million and then even declined till 2020.

Retail and healthcare sectors witnessed an inclined trend in 40 years. Retail started at around 6 millions and sharply rose at 15 million in 2000 and ended at approximately 16 million of jobs. There was a surge of jobs from around 2.5 to 5 in healthcare and continued to increase till 2020 and ended with the similar number of jobs of retail.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.5

You successfully cover all four economic sectors shown in the graph and provide a clear overall trend for each. Your overview effectively captures the main patterns, noting how manufacturing peaked early before declining, while retail and healthcare experienced substantial growth. However, some parts of your response lack full data support or contain minor inaccuracies in figures. For instance, stating that retail started at around 6 millions and sharply rose at 15 million in 2000 is generally accurate, but your description of the healthcare sector omits precise starting values, referring vaguely to a surge of jobs from around 2.5 to 5. To reach the next level, you should ensure that every trend is fully substantiated with specific data points from the chart and that comparisons between sectors are drawn more explicitly throughout the body paragraphs.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.5

Your response is logically organized with a clear division into an introduction, an overview paragraph, and two detailed body paragraphs that group the sectors effectively. You make use of standard cohesive devices and transition signals such as 'Overall', 'However', and 'Then' to guide the reader through the data. Nevertheless, some of the cohesive links and referencing feel slightly mechanical or repetitive, and paragraph transitions could be smoother to achieve a higher degree of flow. Additionally, while the overall progression is clear, a few sentences within the body paragraphs lack tight internal cohesion, which prevents the essay from reaching a fully seamless standard. Organizing information so that comparisons are more fluidly integrated will further enhance the logical structure of your writing.

Lexical Resource: Band 6.0

You demonstrate an adequate vocabulary range for the task, successfully attempting less common terminology related to graph trends such as 'peaked', 'leved-off', and 'inclined trend'. However, there are noticeable word choice and morphological inaccuracies that reflect an intermediate lexical control. For example, expressions like 'experienced fell of jobs' contain grammatical word-form errors, and 'leved-off' is misspelled. Furthermore, phrases like 'gradually decline trend' misuse word classes, as an adjective is used where a noun modifier is required. To improve your lexical score, focus on precise collocations and ensure that word forms match the grammatical context of your sentences, moving away from slightly awkward phrasings toward natural, academic reporting language.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

Your writing displays a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, allowing you to report multiple trends and timeframes. You demonstrate some control over past tenses when discussing historical data. However, there are frequent grammatical errors in prepositions, articles, and plurals that restrict your accuracy to this level. For instance, you wrote 'depicts about the proportion' (unnecessary preposition), '15 million of jobs' (incorrect structure; should be '15 million jobs'), and omitted necessary articles in phrases like 'in manufacturing sector'. Additionally, sentences such as 'continued to increase till 2020 and ended with the similar number' suffer from missing subjects and awkward syntactic connections. Working on sentence completeness, correct prepositions after verbs of change, and accurate article usage will help you secure higher accuracy.

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