Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-06
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 5.5)
The given line graph illustrates the information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the United States of America between 1960 and 2020.Agricultural sector had the least number of jobs in 2020,following this manufacturing sector also had a low rate of job recruitment in 2020.It had the highest number of jobs in 1980 and a gradual decrease is shown in 2000.Retail sector had 6 million jobs in 1960,it surged to 10 million in 1980.A sharp increase in the number of jobs was seen in 2000 and 2020.Initially,healthcare sector had least number of jobs in 1960,it rosed to 5 million in 1980 and a sharp climb was seen in 2000 and then in 2020.
Overall,the graph portrays a major shift in US workforce from traditional industries to service based sectors between the time period.Manufacturing and agriculture suffered declines while retail sector saw significant growth in the USA.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.5 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5
The response is 137 words long, meaning the length requirement of 150 words was not met (note that 14 words copied directly from the task prompt were excluded from this count). The student addresses the task partially by identifying some main features, such as the peak in manufacturing in 1980 and the general growth in the retail and healthcare sectors. However, the data reporting is somewhat incomplete and poorly organised. For instance, the statement that the agricultural sector had the least number of jobs in 2020 is correct, but the subsequent claim that manufacturing had a 'low rate of job recruitment' in 2020 ignores the fact that it still accounted for 13 million jobs. Furthermore, the overview is rather generic and some trends, like the continuous decline in agriculture, are underdeveloped. To reach a higher band, the response must meet the minimum word count and provide a more comprehensive and accurate summary of all sectors across the given timeline.
Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5
The essay has some organisation, dividing the response into an introduction, a body paragraph detailing sector trends, and a concluding overview. However, there is no clear overall progression, and the logical flow is disrupted by punctuation and referencing errors. For example, several sentences are run-together comma splices, such as 'Retail sector had 6 million jobs in 1960, it surged to 10 million in 1980' and 'Initially, healthcare sector had least number of jobs in 1960, it rosed to 5 million'. Cohesive devices are generally inadequate and repetitive, relying heavily on basic chronological sequencing ('in 1960', 'in 1980', 'in 2000', 'in 2020') rather than varied transitional language. Paragraphing is also minimal, with all body data crammed into a single block. To improve, the writer should use proper sentence boundaries, avoid comma splices, and group related data logically into distinct paragraphs with smoother cohesive links.
Lexical Resource: Band 5.5
The vocabulary used is adequate for the task, demonstrating a minimally acceptable range that allows the writer to discuss economic sectors and employment numbers. Words like 'surge', 'gradual decrease', and 'shift' show an attempt to describe graphical data. However, there are noticeable lexical errors and awkward collocations, such as 'job recruitment' instead of employment or jobs, and missing articles like 'Agricultural sector' and 'Retail sector'. Spelling is generally acceptable, but the limited range and frequent slip-ups in word choice restrict the response. To progress to a higher band, the student needs to incorporate a wider variety of precise data-reporting vocabulary and ensure correct word forms and article usage when referring to specific industries.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5
The response displays a limited range of grammatical structures, relying primarily on simple sentences and basic subject-verb-object constructions. While the writer attempts some complex sentences, these are often faulty due to punctuation errors, notably frequent comma splices (e.g., 'manufacturing sector also had a low rate of job recruitment in 2020. It had the highest...'). There are also recurring errors with articles ('the agricultural sector', 'the healthcare sector') and verb forms (using 'rosed' instead of 'rose'). Frequent grammatical and punctuation errors require the reader to occasionally decode the intended meaning. To achieve a higher band, the writer must incorporate a greater variety of complex clause structures, eliminate punctuation errors like comma splices, and maintain tighter control over tense usage and article placement.
See this exact question answered at other band scores. The same prompt compared across bands.
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