Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-06

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 6.0)

the graph illustrates the number of jobs in four sectors of economy including manufacturing, retail, agriculture and healthcare sector. Overall, the graph shows the change in these sectors over the period of 60 years.

The manufacturing sector held the highest value at 15 million jobs while the healthcare sector was at the lowest holding the value at 3 million jobs in 1960. Meanwhile, agriculture and retail sectors were both at around 6 million jobs slightly higher than the health care sector.

In 1980s, Manufacturing sector showed a massive increase and rose at a figure of 20 milion jobs but later it fell drastically and ended up at around 13 million jobs till 2020. Whereas, Healthcare and retail sectors showed a huge change from 1980s and both closed at 16 million jobs in 2020. Finally agriculture sector slightly dropped and by the year 2020 it was recorded at 3 million jobs. At last, the agriculture sector did not increase much as compared to the other sectors but the healthcare sector showed a massive hike over the period of 60 years.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

The response addresses all parts of the task by reporting the main features and trends of the four sectors across the specified time frame. An overview is provided in the opening paragraph, and key data points such as the starting and ending figures are mentioned. However, some ideas and comparisons are under-developed or imprecise. For instance, the student states that the healthcare sector started at 3 million jobs in 1960, whereas the data shows it was closer to 2 million. Additionally, the final paragraph repeats information already stated about agriculture and healthcare rather than synthesizing further insights or deeper comparisons between the trends. To reach a higher level, the response would need a more fully developed overview and greater precision in reporting key comparative data across the entire timeline.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The response has a coherent overall arrangement and follows a logical structure, moving from an introduction and overview to body paragraphs detailing the specific sectors. Paragraphing is used to separate different ideas, and some cohesive devices are employed, such as 'Meanwhile', 'Whereas', and 'Finally'. However, cohesion is at times mechanical or somewhat repetitive in its transitional phrases. Referencing and progression could be smoother, as some sentences feel slightly disjointed, such as the abrupt addition of 'At last, the agriculture sector...' at the end of the final paragraph. To improve cohesion, the writer should use a wider variety of cohesive relationships and ensure that ideas flow naturally from one sentence to the next without abrupt shifts in focus.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

The vocabulary used is adequate for the task, successfully conveying basic concepts and trends with words such as 'illustrates', 'massive increase', 'drastically', and 'hike'. The student attempts less common vocabulary, but this is sometimes accompanied by minor inaccuracies in word choice or collocation, such as 'held the highest value' instead of 'stood at the highest level' or 'accounted for the highest number'. Spelling is generally accurate, but minor slips occur, such as 'milion' instead of 'million'. To achieve a higher band, the writer needs to demonstrate a more precise and flexible range of lexical items, avoiding repetitive phrasing and using collocation more naturally to discuss statistical trends.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

The writing demonstrates a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, attempting various time clauses and comparative forms. There are some grammar and punctuation errors, but they rarely impede communication. Examples of errors include missing capitalization at the beginning of the text ('the graph illustrates...'), missing articles ('in 1980s' instead of 'in the 1980s'), and occasional preposition errors ('rose at a figure' instead of 'rose to a figure'). Complex structures are attempted, but they occasionally lack complete accuracy. To move up to the next band, the student should aim for a higher proportion of error-free sentences, improve control over articles and prepositions in statistical contexts, and ensure consistent punctuation and capitalization throughout the essay.

See this exact question answered at other band scores. The same prompt compared across bands.

Browse more IELTS Writing model answers or get your own writing scored by the same AI examiner.