Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-06
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 4.5)
The graph delineates information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020. Including manufacturing, retail, agriculture and healthcare sectors.
Overall, the retail sector increased throughout the time period.However, agriculture sector showed modest number of jobs but healthcare sector displayed moderat numbrer of jobs.In addition, manufacturing sector presented a sharp decline.
In 1960, manufacturing sector increased about five percent.In contrast, it showed a downward trend in 1980. Therefore, retail and healtcare sectors
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 3.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 4.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 4.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 3.5
The response fails to meet the minimum word count requirement of 150 words, stopping abruptly at only 62 words (with 19 words copied from the prompt). Because the text is severely truncated and cuts off mid-sentence ('Therefore, retail and healtcare sectors'), it addresses the task only partially and presents very limited, underdeveloped ideas. While the writer attempts an overview and mentions a few initial trends, the response is far too brief to properly select, report, and compare the main features of the graph, resulting in an incomplete evaluation.
Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.0
The response demonstrates some basic organizational structure by attempting an introduction, an overview, and the beginning of a detail paragraph. However, there is no clear overall progression due to the extreme brevity of the text. Cohesive devices are minimal and mechanical, featuring basic connectors like 'Overall' and 'In addition'. Furthermore, the response breaks down entirely at the end, finishing with an incomplete fragment ('Therefore, retail and healtcare sectors'), which severely disrupts the logical flow and cohesion of the writing.
Lexical Resource: Band 5.5
The lexical resource is limited but minimally adequate for the few sentences produced. The student successfully uses appropriate topic-specific vocabulary related to the prompt, such as 'manufacturing', 'retail', 'agriculture', and 'healthcare sectors', alongside basic trend vocabulary like 'increase' and 'decline'. However, there is a spelling error ('healtcare' instead of 'healthcare') and a word form error ('moderat numbrer' instead of 'moderate number'). The range of vocabulary is restricted by the short length of the text, preventing the display of more flexible or less common lexical items.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0
The writer uses a very limited range of sentence structures, consisting mostly of simple sentences alongside a minor fragment error. There is an incomplete sentence structure right at the end ('Therefore, retail and healtcare sectors...'), which leaves a hanging preposition/conjunction. While basic grammatical structures are mostly accurate when present, the severe lack of varied complex structures and the unfinished sentence mean that the grammatical range and accuracy remain restricted.
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