Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-06

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 5.5)

The chart illustrates data about the numbers of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Firstly, in 1960, jobs in manufacting sector was 15 million, then it increased to 20 million in 1980 which was the highest percentage of jobs. Later, the percentage decreases to 17 million and 13 million in 2000 and 2020. Secondly, jobs in retail sector was 6 million in 1960. Then, the amount of jobs increased gradually for the next 60 years and it became 10 million, 15 million, and 16 million in 1980, 2000, nd 2020. Thirdly, the agricultural job sector was same as retail sector in 1960. But, it decaresed to 3 million in 1980 and remained same in 2000. Furthermore, the amount decreased more to 2 million. Lastly, the healthcare sector jobs were 2 million only which was the lowest amount. But, the amount increased so quickly in next 60 years to 5 million, 11million, and 16 million in 1980, 2000, and 2020.

Consequently, in 2020, the highest number of jobs were in retail and healthcare sector then the manifacturing sector and the lowest amount was in agricultural sector.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

You cover all four sectors and report the main movements accurately: manufacturing peaks at 20 million before falling, retail and healthcare rise, and agriculture declines. Your final comparison also identifies retail and healthcare as joint leaders in 2020. However, the overview is placed at the end rather than clearly stated near the beginning, and some key comparisons are underdeveloped. For example, healthcare’s rise from 2 to 16 million and its eventual match with retail could be highlighted as a major change. Also, “highest percentage” is inaccurate because the chart shows numbers of jobs, not percentages. A clearer overview and more selective comparison of the most significant trends would strengthen the response.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The response is arranged in a generally understandable sequence, moving through the sectors and ending with a comparison of the 2020 figures. Sequencing words such as “Firstly,” “Secondly,” and “Lastly” help the reader follow the account. However, this sector-by-sector listing makes the organisation somewhat mechanical, and “Consequently” does not express a clear cause-and-effect relationship. The overview would be more effective as a separate opening paragraph, followed by grouped details—for instance, rising sectors together and declining sectors together. Some links between sentences are also abrupt, particularly the shift from agriculture to healthcare. More purposeful paragraphing and a wider range of natural transitions would make the progression clearer.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use enough vocabulary to describe the main trends, including “increased gradually,” “remained,” and “decreased.” However, the range is limited and several choices are inaccurate or repetitive. “Percentage of jobs” is not appropriate for figures measured in millions, while “amount of jobs” is less natural than “number of jobs.” There are also spelling errors, including “manufacting,” “decaresed,” and “manifacturing,” which reduce accuracy. Try using precise trend language and vary repeated references to “amount” and “jobs.” For example, describe a sector’s employment as rising, falling, peaking, or remaining stable, while keeping the unit clear as millions of jobs.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You communicate the sequence of changes using both simple sentences and some longer structures, such as “Then, the amount of jobs increased gradually for the next 60 years and it became…” However, there are some recurring errors in agreement and sentence construction. For example, “jobs in manufacting sector was” should use a plural verb and an article (“jobs in the manufacturing sector were”), while “the agricultural job sector was same” needs “the same.” The phrase “in next 60 years” also needs an article (“over the next 60 years”). These errors do not prevent the reader from understanding the trends, but checking agreement, articles, and sentence patterns would improve control. Aim to combine accurate complex sentences with consistently correct basic structures.

See this exact question answered at other band scores. The same prompt compared across bands.

Browse more IELTS Writing model answers or get your own writing scored by the same AI examiner.