Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-06

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 6.0)

The line graph illustrates how many jobs were distributed in four sectors of the economy in the US in the period between 1960 and 2020.

Overall, we can see that, there were least amount of jobs in agricultural sector between this period whereas this rate was more higher in manufacturing area. Similarly, there was a sharp incline in working in retailing and healthcare.

In 1960, people were more interested in manufacturing jobs and this increased in 20 years period with 20 million jobs in total, followed by a massive decline in this job with approximately 13 million. Similarly, agricultural sactor also saw significant drop in 1980 where it decreses gradually till 2020.

In contrast, Retail and healthcare showed a dramatical increase in its job area. People were less interested in manufacturing and healthcare in 1960 with only 6 million and 3 million respectively. In 2000, workers were more devoted to work in retail than healthcare followed by 2020 when they were interested equally to both jobs.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

You identify the overall contrast between manufacturing and agriculture, and note the growth in retail and healthcare. Several key figures are also reported accurately: manufacturing reaches 20 million in 1980 and falls to about 13 million by 2020, while retail and healthcare are equal at around 16 million in 2020. However, the overview is not fully accurate: manufacturing was not consistently the sector with the most jobs, since retail and healthcare both reach the same level by 2020. There are also factual errors in the 1960 comparison: healthcare had about 2 million jobs, not 3 million, and retail had 6 million, not healthcare. Agriculture’s decline is described vaguely, and the important rise in healthcare could be reported more precisely.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The response has a clear overall structure: an introduction, an overview, and two paragraphs describing the trends. The contrast signalled by “In contrast” helps distinguish the rising sectors from the declining ones, and the sequence from 1960 to 2020 is generally understandable. However, some connections are mechanical or unclear. “Similarly” introduces the agriculture trend even though it moves in the opposite direction to manufacturing, and “followed by” does not clearly explain the relationship between the 2000 and 2020 comparisons. The overview also combines several trends without clearly ranking the main features. To improve, group the sectors by trend and use precise time references to guide the reader through each change.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use a reasonable range of task-related vocabulary, including “sharp incline,” “significant drop,” “decline,” and “dramatically increase,” so the main trends are usually understandable. However, several word choices and collocations are inaccurate or unnatural, such as “jobs were distributed,” “more higher,” “interested in manufacturing jobs,” and “devoted to work in retail.” These expressions sometimes make the description sound as though it concerns workers’ preferences rather than employment figures. There are also spelling and word-form errors, including “sactor” and “decreses,” and “dramatical” is not the appropriate form. Aim for precise chart language such as “the number of jobs,” “rose,” “fell,” and “employment in the sector.”

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You attempt a mix of simple and more complex sentences, including clauses introduced by “whereas” and “when,” and the overall meaning can generally be followed. Some grammatical errors remain, however. The overview has an incorrect construction in “there were least amount of jobs,” and “this rate was more higher” uses an incorrect comparative form. In “agricultural sector,” an article is needed, while “this increased in 20 years period” has an incomplete article pattern. The sentence beginning “People were less interested…” also has a confusing structure and does not clearly connect the figures to the sectors. Work on articles, comparatives, and clear subject–verb relationships, while checking punctuation around introductory phrases.

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