Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-06

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 5.5)

The line graph illustrates the number of jobs in four different sectors Manufacturing, Retail, Agriculture and Heathcare in the United States between 1969 and 2020.

Overall, manufacturing and agricuture showed a long term delined in jobs. While healthcare showed consistent growth and retail empoyment rose steadily.

In 1960, the numer of jobs in manufactruing is 15 million, followed by the 20 million in 1980. Over the period the employment steadily declined 16 million in 2000 and reach at his lowest position 13 million in 2020. In contrast, jobs in retail market is roughly around 5 million in 1960 and over the period it gradually increased to 15 million in 2000 and 16 million in 2020.

The jobs in argrculture starting nearly 5 million in 1960 and during the period it facing decreasing trend 4 million in 1980 and 3 millon in 2020. Jobs in healthcare accounts opposite begin approximetely 1 million jobs in 1960, throughout the period to 10 million jobs in 2000 and reach at peak position which is millio in 2020

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

You identify the main broad patterns: manufacturing rises before declining, while retail and healthcare grow and agriculture falls. The overview is relevant, but it inaccurately groups manufacturing with agriculture as showing a long-term decline, since manufacturing ends below its peak but still above its 1960 level. Several figures also need correction: manufacturing is about 17 million in 2000, not 16; agriculture is about 3 million in 1980 and 2 million in 2020; and healthcare reaches about 16 million in 2020, but this figure is omitted. The opening also gives 1969 rather than 1960. These inaccuracies and the incomplete reporting of key details make the account only partly effective. Compare the start, peak and end values more carefully, especially for healthcare and manufacturing.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The response has a recognisable structure: an introduction, an overview and separate paragraphs describing the sectors. This gives the reader a generally coherent route through the information, and contrasts such as “In contrast” help signal comparisons. However, some links are mechanical or unclear, particularly the repeated use of “over the period,” and the final healthcare sentence breaks off before giving its 2020 figure. Grouping the rising sectors together and the declining or fluctuating sectors together could make comparisons more direct. Ensure each paragraph develops a complete point, and use clear references and transitions rather than relying on the same linking phrase.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use some relevant chart vocabulary, including “employment,” “declined,” “gradually increased” and “peak position,” so the reader can usually understand the intended trends. However, spelling errors are frequent, including “Heathcare,” “agricuture,” “delined,” “empoyment” and “approximetely.” Some expressions are also unnatural or imprecise: “jobs in retail market” and “reach at his lowest position” do not describe the data idiomatically. The range is sufficient to attempt the task, but these errors and repeated general wording reduce precision and can interrupt reading. Check spelling carefully and learn standard collocations for describing figures, peaks, falls and employment levels.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple statements and longer sentences with contrast, for example, “In contrast, jobs in retail market…” This shows some effort to vary sentence structure. However, errors in verb forms and sentence construction are frequent: “manufacturing is 15 million” shifts awkwardly into the past, “it facing decreasing trend” lacks a correctly formed verb, and “reach at his lowest position” is not grammatically controlled. The final sentence, “reach at peak position which is millio in 2020,” is incomplete and leaves the meaning unclear. Use consistent past-tense reporting for this historical graph, and practise complete clauses with accurate subject–verb patterns. Short, carefully checked sentences would improve clarity.

See this exact question answered at other band scores. The same prompt compared across bands.

Browse more IELTS Writing model answers or get your own writing scored by the same AI examiner.