Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-06

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 5.5)

The line graph illustrates data about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US from 1960 to 2020. The data is calibrated in nuumber.

Overall, it can be seen that manufacturing and agriculture was the sectors recorded decreased in number over the period, while retail and heathcare sector increased throughout the period.

In 1960, Manufacturing was recorded job sector around 15 millions, however it increased to 20 million after 20 years. A dramtic decreased was seen in the job sector of manufacturing by 4 million in 2000, after 20 years it decreased to nearly 12 million. Healthcare sector recorded 3 million jobs in initial years and 5 million jobs in 1980. Although, it proportion increased sharply to 12 million in 2000 and then to almost 16 million jobs .

On the other hand, Agriculture has nearly 6 million jobs in 1960, after 20 years it decreased by 3 millions and ended up at nearly 2 million jobs in 2020 recorded the least number in job sector. In addition, Retail increased jobs sector 2 million to 5 million drom 1960 to 1980 amd a dramtic increased can be seen in retail sector after 20 year nearly 12 million jobs. Retails peaked atr 16 million in 2020.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

You identify the main overall contrast: manufacturing and agriculture decline over the period, while retail and healthcare rise. The response also includes relevant figures, such as manufacturing reaching 20 million in 1980 and agriculture falling to about 2 million by 2020. However, some details are inaccurate or unclear: healthcare starts at about 2 million, not 3 million, and retail rises from 6 million to 10 million between 1960 and 1980, rather than from 2 to 5 million. The overview also says the two rising sectors increased “throughout,” although manufacturing and agriculture are described only broadly. To strengthen the report, check each series against the graph and make the key comparisons more precise, especially the close finish of retail and healthcare at around 16 million.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The response has a clear basic structure: an introduction, an overview, and two detail paragraphs that group the sectors. This makes the main trends reasonably easy to follow. Linking expressions such as “Overall,” “On the other hand,” and “In addition” help signal relationships, but some transitions are mechanical or do not clearly connect the information. For example, “Although, it proportion increased sharply” interrupts the healthcare description, and the final agriculture sentence combines a trend with its endpoint in a confusing way. The manufacturing and healthcare details are grouped together, as are agriculture and retail, but the comparisons within each paragraph could be more deliberate. Use clearer sequencing by year and avoid connectors that do not fit the sentence structure.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use relevant chart vocabulary, including “increased,” “decreased,” “peaked,” and “recorded,” so the reader can generally understand the trends. However, the range is limited and several word-choice or collocation problems make the report less natural, such as “the data is calibrated in nuumber,” “recorded job sector,” and “increased jobs sector.” There are also noticeable spelling errors, including “nuumber,” “dramtic,” “heathcare,” and “drom.” These do not usually prevent understanding, but they reduce precision and polish. Build a more accurate set of phrases for describing figures and trends, such as “the number of jobs stood at,” “rose to,” and “fell by,” and proofread spelling before submitting.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and more complex sentence forms, including a contrast with “while” and a time clause beginning “after 20 years.” The overall meaning is usually recoverable, but some grammatical errors affect clarity. For example, “manufacturing and agriculture was the sectors” has a subject–verb agreement problem, while “In 1960, Manufacturing was recorded job sector around 15 millions” lacks a clear grammatical structure. The sentence beginning “Although, it proportion increased” is also incomplete or incorrectly linked, and several clauses run together without effective punctuation. Practise accurate sentence patterns for reporting figures, including “Manufacturing had around 15 million jobs” and “After rising to 20 million, the figure fell.” Check agreement, articles, plurals, and sentence boundaries.

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