Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-06

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 5.0)

The line graph illustrates the relative percentage of jobs contribution made by economy in four sectors in the united states between 1960 and 2020.

As an overall assessment, it can be scrutinised that the higher amount of jobs noticed by Retail and in healthcare department, wherase , plummet was showed in agriculture sector.

It is evedent that in 1960, the manufacturing ratio surge at 15 % , however ,it is climb at 205 in next year. Aditionally , from 1980 to 2020 it plunge sharply . In contrast , in the initial period , retail service stood at about 5% , while continue growing and peak at 16% approximately in 2020.

Further changes included the information of agriculture, in 1960 roase at nearly 6% ,however, declined in 1980 almost 3% , adding more, between 1980 -2000 the numbers of agriculture sectors in plateau momement. In next decade ,it decrease at about 2% in 2020. Moreover, starting point of the healthcare sectores was reach at 6% nearly , whilst , experience variations in next yera till 2020.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.0

You identify the four sectors and describe several broad trends, including manufacturing’s rise and later decline, retail’s growth, and agriculture’s fall. However, the overview is unclear: “the higher amount of jobs noticed by Retail and in healthcare” does not specify that retail and healthcare both reach about 16 million by 2020, while agriculture remains the smallest sector. Some figures and descriptions are inaccurate or confusing. Manufacturing reaches 20 million in 1980, not “205,” and healthcare starts at about 2 million, not 6%; its strong rise to around 16 million is also omitted. The response therefore reports only part of the main picture, and some key comparisons are underdeveloped. Give a precise overview, use the chart’s units, and select the most important figures accurately.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

The response has a basic paragraph structure: an introduction, an overview, and two paragraphs describing sector details. You also attempt to connect ideas with phrases such as “In contrast,” “Moreover,” and “Further changes.” However, progression within the paragraphs is sometimes difficult to follow, and several links are mechanical or unclear. For example, “Further changes included the information of agriculture” does not clearly introduce the trend, while “whilst, experience variations in next yera till 2020” leaves the healthcare description incomplete. Grouping the sectors by trend—such as declining agriculture and manufacturing versus growing retail and healthcare—would make comparisons easier to follow. Use linking expressions only where they clarify the relationship between complete, logically ordered points.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You attempt a range of trend vocabulary, including “plummet,” “declined,” “plateau,” and “peak,” and the reader can generally identify which sectors you mean. However, word choice and collocation are often inaccurate or unnatural, sometimes obscuring the intended meaning. “Relative percentage of jobs contribution” is unsuitable because the graph reports numbers of jobs in millions, not percentages. Phrases such as “higher amount of jobs noticed by” and “plateau momement” are also unclear. Spelling errors, including “evedent,” “wherase,” and “Aditionally,” further reduce precision. Use straightforward, accurate terms such as “number of jobs,” “rose,” “fell,” and “remained stable” before attempting more elaborate vocabulary.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt complex sentences using contrast and time clauses, for example, “In contrast, in the initial period…” and “while continue growing…”. However, many sentence structures are faulty, and verb forms and sentence completeness are inconsistent. In “it is climb at 205 in next year,” the verb form and time expression do not form a correct sentence; “whilst, experience variations” also lacks a clear subject and correctly formed verb. Articles, prepositions, and punctuation are frequently mishandled, as in “in next decade” and the repeated spaces before commas. These errors can make the reader work to understand the trends. Build accurate simple sentences first, then combine them with correctly formed clauses, checking that each sentence has a subject and a finite verb.

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