Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-06

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 6.0)

The line chart illustrates the information regarding the number of jobs in the four economic sectors in the USA from 1980 to 2020.

Overall, manufacturing sector had the highest number of jobs but after reaching a peak, it declined gradually. The agriculture sector's employment rate declined steadily whereas the jobs in the healthcare and retail sector rose significantly.

In 1960, the manufacturing sector was the most popular area and had the highest number of jobs as it contained 15 million jobs, this rate reached a peak in 1980 and had 20 million jobs before declining gradually to 16 million in 2000 and around 12 million in 2020. The agriculture sector started with 6 million jobs in 1960, while declining to around 2 million in 1980. These numbers plateaued till 2020 before declining further to 1 million in 2020.

The Retail and Healthcare sector started with 6million and 2million of jobs in 1960, respectively. This rate gradually increased and reached to 10 million and 5 million in 1980, 25 million and 11 million in 2000 while ended up to 16 million of jobs in 2020, respectively.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

You identify the main overall patterns: manufacturing peaks and then falls, agriculture declines, and retail and healthcare grow. You also include several relevant figures, such as manufacturing at 15 million in 1960 and 20 million in 1980. However, some details are inaccurate or unclear. Manufacturing is reported at 16 million in 2000, whereas the chart shows about 17 million; agriculture is said to plateau until 2020, although it falls from about 3 million in 1980 and 2000 to 2 million in 2020. Most importantly, retail is given as 25 million in 2000, but it is about 15 million. The overview also misses that retail and healthcare both finish at around 16 million, jointly the highest figures in 2020. More precise comparisons would strengthen the summary.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The response has a clear overall structure: an introduction, an overview, and two paragraphs grouping the sectors. This makes the main trends easy to follow. The grouping of manufacturing with agriculture, followed by retail and healthcare, is sensible. However, some linking and referencing are not fully clear. In the final paragraph, “This rate” does not clearly identify whether it refers to retail, healthcare, or both, and “respectively” is placed after a sequence that makes the figures difficult to match to each year. The body paragraphs also move through the data without consistently signalling comparisons between sectors. Use clearer references and organise each paragraph chronologically or by contrasting trends to make progression more controlled.

Lexical Resource: Band 6.0

You use an adequate range of vocabulary for describing a line graph, including “peak,” “declined gradually,” “plateaued,” and “increased.” These choices help communicate the broad trends, and the meaning is generally clear. Some word choices and collocations are less suitable or imprecise: “most popular area” suggests preference rather than employment numbers, while “contained 15 million jobs” is not a natural way to describe a sector’s total. “Employment rate” is also not equivalent to the number of jobs shown. There are minor presentation issues such as “6million” and “2million” without spaces. Aim for precise chart language such as “employed,” “accounted for,” and “the number of jobs,” and vary repeated uses of “jobs” and “rate.”

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 6.0

You use a mix of simple and more complex sentence forms, including clauses with “whereas” and “before,” and most of the message remains understandable. Some grammatical errors and punctuation problems are present. In “manufacturing sector had,” the article is missing; “the Retail and Healthcare sector” should use plural agreement if referring to both sectors. The sentence beginning “In 1960, the manufacturing sector…” joins two independent clauses with a comma, creating a comma splice. The final sentence is also difficult to control because several years and figures are combined before “respectively.” Check articles, singular and plural agreement, and sentence boundaries, and consider splitting long data-heavy sentences into shorter, clearer statements.

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