Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-06

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 5.5)

The line graph compares the number of jobs in millions divide into different sectors such as, Manufacturing, Retail, Agriculture, Healthcare in US between 1960 and 2000.

Overall, it is clearly seen that Retail and Healthcare sector experienced a dramatic increase. While, Mnaufacturing sector initially climbed after reach at 1980 there was a dramatic decline in this sector.Meanwhile, Agriculture sector emoplyer saw a downward trend throughout the period.

In 1960, Manufacturing sector started at 15 million jobs and reach at 20 millions in 20 years.While, Agriculture sector started at around 6 millions jobs and saw a gradually downward trend and it remain reletively stable over the period from 1980 to 2020. Cosquently, Manufacturing sector reach 20 millions jobs and after some fluctuations it decreses throught the period.

Turning to the remaining sectors, Retail sector stood at around 6 millions. However, it rose to 10 millions in 1980. From 1980 to 2000 it increases steadily and sttod at aound 16 millions. Meanwhile, the figure for Healthcare sector started at around 3millions and reach 5millions in 1980. After that, there was a ignificant increase in healthcare sector reach at peak 16 millions by 40 years.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

You identify several important patterns: manufacturing peaks in 1980 and then declines, agriculture falls, and retail and healthcare rise. However, the account is only partly accurate and does not cover the full period consistently. The introduction says the graph runs from 1960 to 2000, although it ends in 2020, and the overview does not clearly state that retail and healthcare both reach about 16 million by 2020. Some details are also confused: retail is described as reaching around 16 million by 2000, when it is about 15 million, and manufacturing’s later decline is not quantified. Give a precise overview of the main comparisons, then report the key figures accurately for all four years.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

The response has a recognisable structure, moving from an introduction and overview to two detail paragraphs, and phrases such as “Overall” and “Turning to the remaining sectors” help signal stages. However, progression is weakened by repeated or unclear information. Manufacturing is discussed in both the overview and the first detail paragraph, including a repeated claim that it reached 20 million, while the final paragraph combines retail and healthcare without a clear comparison. Some linking words are awkwardly placed or used mechanically, as in “While,” at the start of sentences. Organise the details by contrasting related trends, and use references such as “this figure” only when their meaning is unmistakable.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use relevant trend vocabulary, including “dramatic increase,” “downward trend,” “gradually,” and “relatively stable,” so the reader can understand the broad movements. However, the range is limited and several word-choice, collocation, and spelling errors reduce precision: “emoplyer,” “reletively,” “Cosquently,” “decreses,” and “sttod” are examples. Phrases such as “reach at peak” and “after some fluctuations” are also imprecise or unsupported by the chart. Use standard collocations for describing data, such as “rose to,” “peaked at,” and “declined to,” and check spelling carefully. Avoid repeating “sector” when a clear pronoun or “employment” would make the sentence more natural.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt some complex forms, including contrast clauses with “While” and time clauses such as “after reach at 1980,” but control is inconsistent. Errors occur frequently in verb forms and agreement: “Manufacturing sector initially climbed after reach” should use a finite or participial form, and “it increases steadily” does not maintain the past tense used for the historical data. Articles and plurals are also often missing or incorrect, as in “the Healthcare sector,” “20 millions jobs,” and “a 3millions.” Sentence boundaries and punctuation need attention, particularly the run-on after “sector.” Practise writing clear past-tense comparisons with accurate articles and plural forms before adding more complex clauses.

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