Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-06

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 5.5)

The graph illustrates various jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US from 1960 to 2020. Overall, it is clear that retail and healthcare had the highest share in the job market, whereas agriculture was at the lowest throughout the whole period.

In 1960 retail and healthcare sectors started from the minimum. Healthcare had less than 5 million jobs available and retail had more than 5 million but less than 10 million jobs. Both of the sectors jumped significantly, retail reaching 15 million jobs in 2000 and healthcare touched more than 10 million. After that, both had equal job market in 2020 which was more than 15 million.

While, manufacturing sector had the larger proportion of jobs in 1960 which rose to 20 million in 1980 but dropped dramatically to less than 15 million in year 2020. Furthermore, agricultural sector served very less jobs which dropped to less than 5 million in 1960, remained constant till 2000 and went down even more till 2020.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

You identify the main broad patterns: manufacturing peaks in 1980 and then declines, healthcare and retail rise, and agriculture remains the smallest sector. You also include relevant comparisons, such as manufacturing being largest in 1960 and retail and healthcare reaching similar levels by 2020. However, the overview is not fully accurate: retail was not among the highest throughout the period, since manufacturing led in 1960 and 1980. Some details are also imprecise; healthcare reached about 11 million in 2000, while retail was about 15 million, and agriculture fell from about 6 million in 1960 to 3 million in 1980 before remaining level until 2000. A more precise overview and clearer reporting of these stages would strengthen the response.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

The response has a recognisable structure, moving from an introduction and overview to details about the rising sectors, manufacturing, and agriculture. This makes the main information reasonably easy to follow. However, progression within paragraphs is sometimes awkward, and the comparison of retail and healthcare would be clearer if their figures were reported side by side at each key year. The opening overview also conflicts with the later statement that manufacturing had the largest share in 1960. Linking expressions such as “While” and “Furthermore” are used, but “While” begins a fragment-like transition after a full stop, and the connections between ideas can feel mechanical. Grouping the series more deliberately and using clearer links would improve cohesion.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use a suitable range of vocabulary for describing trends, including “rose,” “dropped,” “reaching,” and “remained constant.” These choices communicate the general direction of change. However, some expressions are imprecise or unnatural for a graph description: “highest share in the job market” suggests proportions, although the chart shows numbers of jobs, and “served very less jobs” is not an appropriate collocation. “Jumped significantly” is also less neutral than a precise description of the increase. Repetition of “jobs” and “sector” limits flexibility. Aim for accurate terms such as “number of jobs,” “employment,” “increased steadily,” and “declined,” while avoiding claims about shares unless the data are percentages.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You attempt both simple and more complex sentence forms, including the contrast introduced by “whereas” and the time sequence in “After that, both had equal job market in 2020.” Most of the intended meaning remains understandable, but some grammatical errors reduce accuracy. For example, “While, manufacturing sector had the larger proportion” uses an unnecessary comma after “While” and lacks an article before “manufacturing sector”; “agricultural sector served very less jobs” also has an incorrect structure. In “healthcare touched more than 10 million,” the sentence is grammatically possible but the verb does not fit the intended meaning. Practise complete contrast clauses, articles with singular countable nouns, and consistent past-tense reporting.

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