Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-06

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 5.5)

The graph illustrates the information about the jobs in the manufacturing, retail, agriculture and healthcare sectors from 1960 to 2020.

Overall, retail and healthcare has gone through signficant surge in the numbers of jobs from 1980 to 2020. Though manufacturing and healthcare shows decline after 1980 the respective number of jobs.

Although, Manufacturing was the only sectors that achieved around 20 million jobs marking it the highest in 1980 as it started with 15 million in 1960 though it faces a sudden decline in the number of jobs from 20million to approximately 10 million from 1980 to 2020. Whereas, retail in the beginning was at the record lowest in terms of jobs at approximately 5 million in 1960s and then saw a sudden increase in the next decades from 5 million to 15 million. When its comes to healthcare, in the beginning it was even lower than 5 million and over the period of these years its number of jobs increased tremendously till estimatedly 15 million.Lastly, Agriculture was the only domain that faces the most number of decline in these years from beginning with approximately 5 million to ending up with almost 2 million or even lesser than that.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

You identify all four sectors and provide a relevant overview, noting growth in retail and healthcare and a decline in agriculture. You also correctly identify manufacturing as the highest sector in 1980. However, the overview contains a factual contradiction: it says healthcare declined after 1980, although healthcare rose from about 5 million to 16 million jobs. Some figures and comparisons are also imprecise: manufacturing fell to about 13 million, not 10 million, by 2020, while retail and healthcare both reached roughly 16 million. The main trends are present, but clearer, more accurate reporting of the later figures and a consistent overview would make the response more complete and better supported.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

The response has a recognisable structure: an introduction, an overview and a paragraph describing the sectors in turn. This gives the reader a basic route through the information. However, progression within the overview is weakened by the contradictory claim that healthcare declined after 1980, and the final paragraph moves through several sectors without grouping related trends for comparison. Linking expressions such as “Although,” “Whereas,” and “Lastly” are used, but some are awkwardly attached to the sentences and do not always clarify the relationship between ideas. Organise the details into clearer comparisons—for example, rising sectors together and declining sectors together—and use transitions only where they express the intended contrast or sequence.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use a reasonable range of task-related vocabulary, including “surge,” “decline,” “approximately,” and “increased tremendously,” so the main trends are generally understandable. However, several choices are inaccurate or unnatural for describing a graph: “achieved around 20 million jobs” suggests an accomplishment, while “record lowest” and “domain” are not suitable here. There are also noticeable spelling and word-form errors, including “signficant” and “estimatedly,” and repeated use of “sudden” for gradual changes across decades. Choose precise, conventional terms for trends and sectors, and check spelling and collocations. This would make the description clearer and more natural without requiring more elaborate vocabulary.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You attempt a mix of simple and complex sentences, including clauses beginning with “Although” and “Whereas,” and the overall meaning can usually be followed. Some grammatical errors remain, particularly with subject–verb agreement and sentence construction. For example, “retail and healthcare has gone” should use a plural verb, while “manufacturing and healthcare shows decline” has the same agreement problem and an incomplete-sounding construction. “Although, Manufacturing was…” is punctuated and structured awkwardly, and “When its comes to healthcare” contains an incorrect verb form. There are also inconsistent capitalisation and spacing around figures. Review agreement, clause punctuation and sentence boundaries, then proofread each sentence to ensure its structure is complete.

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