Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-06
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 5.0)
In the given data we can see the number of jobs in four sector in the economy of the United States during the year 1960 and 2020. As shown in the graph below manufacting sector clearly have the highest number on jobs 15 million and significantly increased in the year 1980, followed by retail and agriculture on seconf place recorded as 6 millon jobs in thr year 1960, however retail sector has increased semlessly with time on the other hand. Agriculture sector jobs had declined, in the year 1980 it was recored at 3 millon same in 2000 without change, but it is recorded as thr lowest job providing sector in the year 2020. followed by health sector is the only sector which has raplid shown shown growth every year in providing jobs. manufacturing sector jobs has descreased after 1980. Health and Retail sector has provided more and more jobs every year, also recorded as higgest job providing sectors in the year 2020
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 4.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5
You identify several important patterns: manufacturing peaks in 1980 and then declines, agriculture falls overall, and healthcare rises substantially. You also note that healthcare and retail are among the largest sectors by 2020. However, the account is only partly complete: there is no clear, concise overview, and the opening focuses on 1960 and 2020 rather than summarising the full period. Some details are inaccurate or unclear: manufacturing is not simply the highest throughout, since retail and healthcare both reach about 16 million in 2020, compared with manufacturing at 13 million. The claim that healthcare grew “every year” is stronger than the four plotted points establish. A clearer overview and more precise comparisons would make the key features easier to understand.
Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.5
The response includes relevant information and some sequencing through time, using phrases such as “in the year 1980” and “after 1980.” However, it is presented as one long, run-on paragraph, so the overview, comparisons and individual trends are not clearly separated. Linking expressions such as “however,” “on the other hand” and “followed by” are used awkwardly or without clear relationships, which makes the progression difficult to follow. For example, the sentence beginning “followed by health sector” does not connect clearly to the preceding point about agriculture. Organise the report into a brief introduction, an overview, and grouped detail paragraphs, and use linking words only where they accurately show contrast or sequence.
Lexical Resource: Band 5.0
You attempt vocabulary suited to describing trends, including “increased,” “declined,” “growth” and “highest,” so the reader can identify the general direction of change. However, the range is limited and several word choices or collocations are inaccurate, such as “number on jobs,” “job providing sector” and “increased seamlessly.” Spelling errors—including “manufacting,” “seconf,” “millon” and “raplid”—are noticeable and sometimes make the text harder to read. Use standard chart-reporting phrases such as “the number of jobs,” “employment in the sector,” “rose steadily” and “fell to.” Checking spelling and choosing precise terms for employment and trends would improve clarity.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0
The response attempts to combine ideas using clauses and contrast, for example in “Agriculture sector jobs had declined … same in 2000 without change, but it is recorded…”. However, complex sentences are often faulty or incomplete, and the limited control of sentence boundaries makes several points difficult to follow. There are recurring problems with subject–verb agreement and verb forms: “manufacturing sector clearly have” should use a singular verb, while “jobs has descreased” needs a plural subject and a correctly formed verb. Articles and sentence openings are also inconsistent, as in “followed by health sector.” Aim for shorter, complete sentences first, then add controlled comparisons; check agreement, tense consistency and punctuation when editing.
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