Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-06

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 5.0)

The graph delineates information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020. It included manufacturing, retail, agriculture and healthcare sectors.

Overall, the retail sector increased through out the time period. In contrast, agriculture sector accounted for modest number of jobs but healthcare sector showed moderate number of jobs. However, manufacuturing sector presented a sharp decline.

In 1960, the healthcare sector followed an upward trend. Therefore, agriculture sector declined about 4 percent in 1980. In addition, manufacturing sector increased about 5 percent but presented a sharp downfall in 1980. Furthermore, retail sector chased the same number of jobs as the health care sector.

In 2000, manufacturing sector came close to the retail sector and at the end it fell about eight percent. Whereas, healthcare and retail sector accounteed the same number of the jobs in 2020. In contrast, agriculture sector constantly followed downward trend.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.5

You identify all four sectors and attempt an overview, but the main trends are not reported accurately or clearly enough. Manufacturing rose from about 15 million to 20 million by 1980 before declining; it did not show a sharp decline throughout. Retail and healthcare both increased, and they were level at roughly 16 million in 2020, while agriculture fell from about 6 million to 2 million. Several details are confused: the 1980 manufacturing rise is described as a “downfall,” and the claim that retail matched healthcare earlier is unsupported. The response is also 134 words, below the required 150, limiting the detail available. Select the key turning points and compare the series with accurate figures.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.5

The response has a basic paragraph structure: an introduction, an overview, and two paragraphs of details. This gives the reader some sense of how the information is organised. However, progression is difficult to follow because the body moves between years and sectors without a consistent pattern. For example, “In 1960, the healthcare sector followed an upward trend” describes change over time without specifying the later point, while “Therefore” does not show a logical relationship to the agriculture statement that follows. “Whereas” also begins a fragment-like contrast rather than linking complete ideas. Organise the details chronologically or by contrasting rising and falling sectors, and use linking words only where their relationship is clear.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use some task-appropriate vocabulary, including “increased,” “declined,” “upward trend,” and “sharp decline,” and the sector names are generally clear. There is also an attempt to vary wording through phrases such as “accounted for” and “presented.” However, several choices are inaccurate or unnatural for describing a line graph: “followed the same number of jobs,” “came close to,” and “fell about eight percent” do not express the intended comparisons precisely. The graph reports jobs in millions, not percentages. Spelling errors such as “manufacuturing” and “accounteed” also reduce control. Prefer precise terms such as “stood at,” “rose to,” “fell by,” and “was equal to,” with figures in millions.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You attempt a mixture of simple and more complex sentences, including contrast structures such as “In contrast” and “Whereas,” and most of the intended meaning can be understood. However, grammatical control is uneven. Articles and number agreement are often missing or inconsistent, as in “agriculture sector” and “healthcare and retail sector accounteed the same number.” Some sentence constructions are incomplete or awkward: “In 1960, the healthcare sector followed an upward trend” does not establish the period over which the trend occurred, and the final “Whereas” clause is not joined to a complete main clause. Use complete comparisons and check articles, singular/plural forms, and sentence boundaries. A wider range of accurately controlled structures would make the report clearer.

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