Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-06

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 6.0)

The graph illustrates the number of jobs across four sectors manufacturing, retail, agriculture, and healthcare in the US from 1960 to 2020.

Overall, manufacturing was the dominant job sector in the US from 1960, while healthcare had the least number of jobs in the beginning. After manufacturing experienced sharp decline, retail and later healthcare overtook the leading position. While agriculture did not start off as the weakest sector, it rapidly decreased over time.

Manufacturing sector held leading position in 1960 at 15 million, reaching its peak in 1980 at 20 million. However, from 1980 to 2020 the numbers significantly dropped and ended up overtaken by retail in around 2010 and later healthcare also surpassed manufacturing in approximately 2015. Healthcare had the lowest number of jobs at around 1 million in 1960, however, after the numbers surged, it reached its peak at right over 15 million in 2020.

Even though agriculture and retail started off from the same point at above 5 million, they had different development. While retail significantly grew and overtook manufacturing in 2010 and took the leading position, agriculture decli

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

You identify the main overall shifts: manufacturing peaks in 1980 and then declines, while retail and healthcare rise and agriculture falls. Several figures are also reported accurately, including manufacturing’s 15-million starting point and 20-million peak. However, some comparisons are unclear or inaccurate: healthcare and retail are both about 16 million in 2020, so healthcare does not clearly take the lead over retail; healthcare begins at about 2 million, not around 1 million. The overview also says agriculture “did not start off as the weakest sector,” although it was tied with retail at roughly 6 million and above healthcare. The final discussion of agriculture is cut off, leaving its later trend insufficiently reported. More precise comparisons and a complete account would strengthen coverage.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

The response has a recognisable structure, moving from an introduction and overview to details about manufacturing and healthcare, then retail and agriculture. This gives the reader a broad sense of the graph’s development. However, progression is weakened by unclear or incomplete connections. The overview’s claim that retail and “later healthcare” overtook the leader is not fully reconciled with the later statement that healthcare surpassed manufacturing around 2015, and the final sentence ends at “agriculture decli,” interrupting the comparison. Some linking is also repetitive, particularly the repeated use of “While” and “However.” Organise the details into complete comparisons—for example, rising sectors together and declining sectors together—and ensure each paragraph develops a finished point.

Lexical Resource: Band 6.5

You use a suitable range of trend vocabulary, including “dominant,” “peak,” “significantly dropped,” “surged,” and “overtook,” which helps describe changes rather than merely list figures. The meaning is generally clear, and the language is appropriate to a graph summary. Some collocations and phrasing are less natural, however: “held leading position” needs an article, while “different development” and “the numbers surged” are imprecise. “Right over 15 million” is also an awkward way to describe a value just above 15 million. Aim for more exact, conventional expressions such as “held the leading position,” “followed different trends,” and “employment rose.” Greater precision would also help distinguish a tie from one sector leading another.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 6.5

You use a mix of simple and complex sentences, including contrast clauses such as “While retail significantly grew…” and a time clause beginning “After manufacturing experienced…”. Most of the message remains understandable, but some grammatical errors and punctuation issues persist. For example, “manufacturing sector held leading position” is missing articles, and “healthcare had the least number of jobs” would be more grammatically complete as “the fewest jobs.” The sentence beginning “Healthcare had the lowest number…” joins two independent clauses with a comma, creating a comma splice. The final sentence is incomplete, so its clause structure cannot be completed. Review articles and sentence boundaries, and proofread for complete sentences while retaining the complex structures you already attempt.

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