Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-06

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 5.0)

The given Graph ilustrates about the jobs in different sectors of the United States between 1960 and 2020.

In 1960 Healthcare sectore were generate around 2 million of jobs after 40 years these were increased more than 10 million and in 2020 it was more than 15 Million but on the other side if you focous on Manufacturing sector it was on 15 million there was peak in 1980 but it stated decreasing from 20 million and in 2020 it was less than 15 millions jobs.

Retail sector shows that in US 1960 it was started from around 5 million jobs and increased the number till 2020 it was more than 15 millions of jobs, which is a good atchivement. Otherside Agriculture sectore stated same with the Healthcare but it was not increasing it declined around 4 million jobs in 2020. Retail and Agriculture sectors are opposite of each other.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.0

You identify all four sectors and report several broad trends, including manufacturing peaking in 1980 and then declining, and healthcare rising substantially. However, the summary is only partly developed: there is no clear, separate overview of the main pattern, and some comparisons are vague or inaccurate. For example, agriculture falls from about 6 million to about 2 million jobs, not by “around 4 million jobs in 2020”; that wording confuses the amount of decline with the final figure. Retail and healthcare both reach roughly 16 million by 2020, an important comparison that could be stated directly. Give a concise overview first, then support it with accurate figures and clear comparisons.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

The response follows a generally understandable order, moving through healthcare and manufacturing before discussing retail and agriculture, and phrases such as “on the other side” signal contrast. However, the information is compressed into two long paragraphs with no clear overview-and-details structure, so the reader has to work out the main message. Some links are also unclear: “Otherside Agriculture sectore stated same with the Healthcare” does not explain what similarity is intended, while “Retail and Agriculture sectors are opposite of each other” is too general to show the precise contrast. Organise the report into a brief introduction, an overview, and focused detail paragraphs, using linking expressions to clarify specific comparisons rather than relying on broad contrasts.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use relevant topic vocabulary, including “Manufacturing sector,” “declined,” “increased,” and “peak,” so the main trends are usually recognisable. However, the range is limited and several word choices or collocations are inaccurate or informal, which sometimes makes the meaning less precise. “A good atchivement” is an inappropriate evaluation for a neutral chart report, and “stated decreasing” does not express the trend naturally. There are also noticeable spelling errors, such as “ilustrates,” “sectore,” and “focous.” Use standard trend language consistently and check spelling; precise terms such as “rose,” “fell,” “reached a peak,” and “stood at” would make the account clearer and more suitable for IELTS Academic Task 1.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt some longer sentences and use time references to describe change, but the range of sentence structures is limited and errors occur frequently. For example, “Healthcare sectore were generate” has problems with agreement and verb form, while “these were increased” uses an incorrect passive construction for a rising figure. Articles, plurals, and sentence boundaries also need attention: “in US 1960 it was started” is difficult to follow, and several clauses are joined into long sentences without clear punctuation. Practise writing shorter, controlled sentences with a consistent past tense, such as “Healthcare employment rose from about 2 million in 1960 to around 16 million in 2020.” Then add more complex comparisons once these basic patterns are accurate.

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