Band 6.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-06

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 6.5)

Introduction

The graph illustrates the amount of jobs in four given economic sectors namely Manufacturing, Retail, Agriculture and Healthcare in the United states from 1960 to 2020, job units are measured in millions.

Overall, the different economic sectors had periods of increased number of jobs with some years of decline also. Across the 4 years, 1980 was particularly significant for manufacturing and agricultural sectors as that marked the point of unending decline for both till 2020

The healthcare and retail sector, individually demonstrate an all-time steady increase in the number of jobs provided, both having a little over 15 million jobs in 2020 from the initial 6million and 2 million jobs respectively in 1960

Conversely, the manufacturing sector and agriculture suffered an overall decline in the number of jobs provided, ending with 13 million and 2 million respectively, although the peak of the graph shows the highest number jobs in 1980 was provided by the manufacturing sector ( about 20 million jobs).

In conclusion, the agricultural sector provided the least number of jobs within the specified period of years, starting off with around 6million jobs in 1960, plummetted over the years and had around 2 million jobs in 2020

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.5

You identify the four sectors and give a relevant overview of the contrasting trends: manufacturing and agriculture decline overall, while retail and healthcare rise. You also report key endpoints and manufacturing’s peak of about 20 million, so the main picture is clear. However, the overview contains an important inaccuracy: agriculture does not begin an uninterrupted decline after 1980, as it remains at roughly 3 million through 2000 before falling again. The claim that retail and healthcare both show a “steady increase” also smooths over the different pace of their growth. To strengthen the response, compare the series more precisely, noting that retail and healthcare both reach about 16 million by 2020, while healthcare rises especially sharply after 1980.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.5

The response has a recognisable progression from an introduction to an overview and then comparisons, and the contrast signalled by “Conversely” helps connect the rising and declining sectors. The information is generally easy to follow. However, the overview is spread across several paragraphs, and the final paragraph repeats the agriculture trend and figures already mentioned rather than adding a new comparison. Some linking is also mechanical, particularly the separate “In conclusion” summary. Grouping the rising sectors together and the declining sectors together in two focused body paragraphs would make the progression more purposeful. Use references such as “these two sectors” only when their antecedents are unmistakable, and avoid repeating the same endpoint information.

Lexical Resource: Band 6.5

You use a suitable range of task vocabulary, including “economic sectors,” “overall decline,” “peak,” and “provided,” and the meaning is generally clear. There are also attempts at more formal phrasing, such as “Conversely.” Some choices are imprecise or unnatural for describing a graph: “amount of jobs” is less appropriate than a count expression, “all-time steady increase” does not accurately describe the trends, and “unending decline” overstates agriculture’s pattern. “Plummetted” is also misspelled, and “a little over 15 million” is less precise than the chart’s approximate value of 16 million. Aim for accurate trend language and standard collocations so that vocabulary supports, rather than blurs, the comparisons.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 6.5

You use a mix of simple and more complex sentence forms, including the clause beginning “although the peak of the graph shows…,” and most sentences remain understandable. Some grammatical and punctuation errors persist. For example, “the different economic sectors had periods of increased number of jobs” needs an article or a plural construction, and “the highest number jobs” is missing “of.” In “The healthcare and retail sector, individually demonstrate,” the subject is plural but “sector” is singular, and the comma interrupts the subject and verb. Capitalisation is inconsistent in “United states,” while spacing and punctuation around figures also need attention. Proofread agreement, articles, and sentence boundaries to improve control.

See this exact question answered at other band scores. The same prompt compared across bands.

Browse more IELTS Writing model answers or get your own writing scored by the same AI examiner.