Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-06
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 5.0)
The graph illustrate data on the number of emlyoment in four sectors of the economy in US from 1960 to 2020.
Overall,from 1960 to 1980 the graph shows a significant up in Manufacturing,Retail as well as Healthcare, but there's a sharp down in Agriculture at this period of time ,However between 1980 to 2020 Retail and Healthcare sectors goes in up trend while Manufacturing are in a sharp fell , on the other hand Agriculture is kind of stable line at this years.
To begin with , Manufacturing sector and Retail one Rose dramatically between 1960 and 1980 ,Moreover the number of jobs also goes up ,While from 1980 to 2020 the Mnufacturing sector declined sharply , on the other side the sector of Retail still at the same trend since the beggining of this Year's.
Secondly , Agriculture and Healthcare sectors was opposite between 1960 and 1980 , Therefore the of jobs also was opposite , While fro 1980 to 2020 the sector of Healthcare was stable but the Agriculture sector rose dramaticlly at this period of Time.
In Conclusion,there's a significant features and a huge difference betwwen this sectors specially in Agriculture sector.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 4.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.5
You identify the broad subject and mention several overall movements, but the report does not accurately select and describe the main features of the graph. For example, you say manufacturing and retail both rose from 1960 to 1980, which is correct, but later claim retail stayed on the same trend and healthcare was stable from 1980 to 2020; in fact, both increased, with healthcare rising especially strongly. You also say agriculture rose dramatically in the final period, whereas it declined slightly. The overview is therefore based on several misread trends, and there are few reliable figures or comparisons to support it. Focus on the key changes and give approximate values to make the account more informative and accurate.
Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.0
The response has a recognisable structure, with an overview followed by two body paragraphs and a concluding sentence. This gives the reader some organisation. However, progression is weakened by repeated or inaccurate linking words such as “While,” “Moreover,” and “on the other hand,” which do not always show a clear relationship between the information. The body paragraphs also group sectors without consistently comparing their actual trends, and the conclusion repeats a general claim rather than summarising the main pattern. Use one paragraph for the overview and organise the details by meaningful comparisons, such as the sectors that rose and those that fell. Clearer sentence-to-sentence links would make the report easier to follow.
Lexical Resource: Band 5.0
You use some relevant vocabulary for describing trends, including “declined,” “stable,” “dramatically,” and “up trend.” This shows an attempt to use language suited to a graph. However, the range is limited and several choices are inaccurate or unnatural, including “a significant up,” “a sharp down,” “sharp fell,” and “the same trend.” Spelling errors such as “emlyoment,” “Mnufacturing,” and “dramaticlly” also reduce clarity. Some phrases, including “the of jobs,” do not communicate a complete idea. Build a more reliable set of trend expressions and check spelling and collocations; precise wording such as “rose steadily” or “fell slightly” would help describe the data more clearly.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0
You attempt longer sentences and use time clauses and contrast, for example, “between 1980 to 2020” and “while the Agriculture sector…”. However, complex sentences are often faulty, and errors in agreement, verb forms, articles, and punctuation occur frequently enough to make parts difficult to understand. Examples include “The graph illustrate,” “sectors goes,” and “Agriculture and Healthcare sectors was opposite.” Several sentences also run together, as in the overview, where commas and capital letters do not clearly separate the clauses. Practise accurate simple sentences first, then combine them with controlled contrast clauses. Check subject–verb agreement and use consistent past-tense forms when describing the historical data.
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