Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-07

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 4.5)

The line garph gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

It is clear that the number of jobs in four sectors are in increaasing and decreaing also . In Manufacturing sector the number of jobs are more . The less number of jobs are in agriculture sector. Retail secor jobs are slightly rising up .

In 1960 number of jobs in manufacturing are 15 milions. The figures for retails, agriculture and heathcare lower at 6 milions 6 milions and 2 milions respectively . The highest number of jobs in 1980 around 20 milions. In 2020 aagriculture sector jobs lower than manufacuring , heathcare , and retail .

By 2020 the number of jobs are diclined to 14 milions in manufacturing . In 1980 the number of jobs in manucatuing went up to 20 milions . Retail and heathcare jobs rose up in 2000. Agriculture number of jobs dcline by time

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.0

You identify the four sectors and include some relevant figures, such as manufacturing at 15 million jobs in 1960 and around 20 million in 1980. However, the response only minimally summarises the graph: it lacks a clear, accurate overview of the main changes. For example, manufacturing peaked in 1980 and then fell, while retail and healthcare both rose substantially; these trends are not clearly compared. The claim that manufacturing had the most jobs is not true throughout the period, as retail and healthcare reached about 16 million each by 2020. Some details are also incomplete or unclear, including the 2000 figures. The response is 143 words, below the 150-word minimum. Add a concise overview and select the key trends and comparisons.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.0

The response has separate paragraphs and broadly moves from an introduction to some details, which gives it a basic structure. However, the information is not arranged into a clear progression: the second paragraph makes general claims, while the final paragraph returns to 1980 after discussing 2020. Several points are repeated, such as manufacturing reaching 20 million in 1980, and the final sentence about agriculture is too general to complete the comparison. Linking is also limited, so relationships between the sectors and changes over time are not consistently clear. Organise the report around an overview followed by chronological or sector-based comparisons, and use clear links such as “by contrast” and “over the same period” where they show a genuine relationship.

Lexical Resource: Band 4.5

You use some task-relevant vocabulary, including “number of jobs,” “figures,” “sector,” and “rose,” so the topic is generally recognisable. However, the range is basic and repetitive, and several spelling and word-form errors make the writing less clear: “garph,” “increaasing,” “heathcare,” and “diclined.” Some expressions are also imprecise or unnatural, such as “slightly rising up” and “the less number of jobs.” Use accurate trend vocabulary and collocations, for example “increased steadily,” “declined,” “the lowest figure,” and “employment in agriculture.” Proofreading spelling and choosing precise terms for rises, falls, peaks, and comparisons would make the report more effective.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5

Most sentences use simple structures, and the reader can understand several basic facts. However, grammatical errors are frequent, and the range of sentence forms is very limited. For example, “the number of jobs in four sectors are” has subject–verb disagreement, while “The figures for retails, agriculture and heathcare lower at…” is missing a verb. Articles and plural forms are also inconsistent, as in “In 1960 number of jobs” and “15 milions.” Tense and sentence construction are sometimes unclear, particularly in “The highest number of jobs in 1980 around 20 milions.” Practise complete sentences with accurate subjects and verbs, and use past-tense forms consistently to describe the historical data.

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