Band 4.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-07

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 4.0)

The Line graph shows the number of jobs divided in four sector in US between 1960 and 2020.

Overall,it is clear that in the number of job in manufacturing sector reached higher in the begining whereas,the job of rentail is low at the start in when the time passes it rose.In the sector of agriculture the line went upwards and the healthcare is minimum at the start and at the end it decline.

In the year 1960 the highest in the four sector is manufacturing and when it comes at the last the people intrested decline where others are minimum in tyhe begining and went up at the last of 2020.The work that rapidly increased in those years is agriculture.

By the end of 2020, Agriculture has the highest in the job and almost retail also increased as agriculture.Others are flucating in those years.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 3.0

The response identifies the four sectors and the time span, but it does not accurately report the main features. Several key trends are reversed: agriculture declined from about 6 million jobs to 2 million, rather than rising or becoming the largest sector, while healthcare increased from about 2 million to 16 million, rather than declining at the end. Manufacturing peaked around 1980 and then fell, and retail rose steadily. The overview therefore gives a misleading account, and the body provides few reliable comparisons or figures. The response is also 6 words below the required minimum. To improve, select the overall rises and falls correctly, support them with approximate figures, and compare the sectors at the beginning and end.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.0

There is an attempt to organise the response into an introduction, an overview and two further paragraphs, which gives it a basic structure. However, the progression is difficult to follow because ideas are repeated or conflict: the overview says agriculture went upwards, while the final paragraph again claims it had the most jobs in 2020. Phrases such as “when it comes at the last” and “Others are fluctuating” do not make the relationships between points clear. Linking words such as “Overall,” “whereas” and “By the end” are present, but they do not consistently guide the reader through accurate comparisons. Group the trends logically and use clear references to each sector and year.

Lexical Resource: Band 4.5

The response uses some task-related vocabulary, including “sector,” “increased,” “decline” and “highest,” and attempts to describe change over time. However, the range is limited and several word choices or spellings make the meaning unclear, such as “rentail,” “intrested,” “flucating” and “the work that rapidly increased.” Some phrases are also imprecise for a graph, including “people interested” and “the job of retail.” Use standard terms for employment data and check spelling carefully. More precise expressions such as “the number of jobs,” “employment in retail” and “rose steadily” would help communicate the trends clearly and avoid awkward or misleading wording.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5

The response attempts both simple and more extended sentence forms, including a contrast with “whereas” and a time clause beginning “when the time passes.” However, grammatical errors are frequent and sometimes make the intended relationships hard to understand. For example, “in the number of job in manufacturing sector reached higher” lacks a clear grammatical subject and has problems with number and articles; “the healthcare is minimum at the start and at the end it decline” has faulty sentence structure and verb agreement. Commas are also used inconsistently, as in “Overall,it is clear.” Practise forming complete subject–verb sentences, maintaining past-tense forms for the historical data, and punctuating introductory phrases and clauses.

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