Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-07

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 4.5)

The line give information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the us between 1960 and 2020.

It is clear four sector of economy in the US rates climbed and dropped over the period shown but the figure for manufacturing significantly higher and dramatically lower for agriculture.

in 1960 number of job for manufacturing around 15milion , the retail around 5.2million and for agriculture 5.2 million and for healthcare number of job slightly around lower 2.5million . compare to 4 sectors manufacturing is higher than other.

in 2020 manufacturing rapidly fell compare to other and retail and agriculture sharply rose to 15.1 million but healthcare minimal reduced to 2.4million.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 3.5

You identify the chart’s subject and attempt to describe the opening and closing years, but the response does not provide a sufficiently accurate summary of the main trends. The overview says manufacturing was “dramatically lower for agriculture,” which is unclear, and the 2020 account is substantially incorrect: retail and healthcare rose to about 16 million each, while agriculture fell to about 2 million; they did not both rise, and healthcare did not fall. The response also omits the important changes in 1980 and 2000, including manufacturing’s peak and the strong growth in healthcare. It contains 95 words, below the required 150, so the key features are not adequately selected and reported. Add a clear overview and accurate comparisons across the period.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.5

The response has a basic sequence: an introduction, a general statement, then details about 1960 and 2020. This gives the reader some sense of how the information is organised. However, the progression is limited because the middle years are omitted, and the final paragraph combines several trends without clearly distinguishing the sectors. Linking is also awkward in phrases such as “compare to 4 sectors” and “in 2020 manufacturing rapidly fell compare to other.” Use separate, logically ordered paragraphs for the overview and the main comparisons, and connect ideas with clear references such as “By contrast” or “Meanwhile.” This would make the relationships between the figures easier to follow.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use some relevant chart vocabulary, including “number of jobs,” “sector,” “climbed,” “dropped,” and “fell,” so the topic is generally recognisable. However, the range is limited and several choices are imprecise or repetitive. “Rates” is not the right term for the number of jobs, while “sharply rose” is inaccurate for agriculture, which declined. “Dramatically lower for agriculture” does not clearly express the comparison intended. There are also noticeable spelling and form errors, including “milion” and “healthcare” used inconsistently as a sector label. Aim for precise trend language—such as “increased,” “declined,” “peaked,” and “remained stable”—and use it only where it matches the data.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5

You communicate some basic information through simple clauses, and the opening sentence makes the topic identifiable. However, grammatical control is inconsistent, with errors in agreement, articles, plurals, and sentence construction. For example, “The line give information” needs a singular verb, and “four sector” needs a plural form. The sentence beginning “It is clear four sector…” is missing a linking word, while “the retail around 5.2million” is not a complete sentence. Comparisons such as “manufacturing rapidly fell compare to other” also have faulty grammatical patterns. Use complete sentences with a clear subject and verb, and practise accurate comparative structures, for example, “Manufacturing fell, whereas retail continued to rise.”

See this exact question answered at other band scores. The same prompt compared across bands.

Browse more IELTS Writing model answers or get your own writing scored by the same AI examiner.