Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-07
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 5.0)
In 1960, the sector of manufacturing in jobs ratio are high. 15 million people are work there. In 1980 this sector, the jobs are increasing in 20 million people. In 2000 and 2020 because of inflation the jobs decrease very fast .
In 1960, the job sector of retail not high just 5 million but gradually its increase. In 1980 the retail jobs are high about 10 million jobs. same as in 2000 and 2020 in these year the jobs of retail are also high around 15 million jobs because of demand in this sector.
In 1960 the sector of agriculture is very high demand jobs this time and US good in agriculture they also export goods in best price. In 1980 to 2020 the production of agriculture slow down because of changes in weather and also the effects of inflation.
And the last sector of job category is health care. In 1960 the people doesn't understand the medical issue that's why the numbers of job is only 2 million but gradually people studied the doctor field the numbers of job increase in 1980 to 2020 into 5 million to 16 million because of high demand.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 4.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 4.5 |
| Overall | 5.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.5
You identify all four sectors and include several relevant figures, such as manufacturing reaching 20 million in 1980 and healthcare rising from 2 million to 16 million. However, the response does not provide a clear overall summary of the main trends or compare the sectors as a whole. Some data are inaccurate or too vague: retail is about 6 million in 1960, not 5, and its 2020 figure is about 16 million, not simply “around 15”; agriculture falls from 6 million to 2 million, but its 1960 level is not described accurately as “very high.” Explanations about inflation, weather, exports and public understanding of medicine are not shown by the graph. Focus on reporting visible trends and key comparisons rather than adding unsupported causes.
Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5
The response is divided into paragraphs by sector, which gives the reader a basic structure, and the sequence from manufacturing through healthcare is easy to follow. Time markers such as “In 1960,” “In 1980” and “gradually” also help indicate chronology. However, the paragraphs often read as separate observations rather than a connected summary, and there is no distinct overview to guide the reader through the main patterns. Linking is sometimes repetitive, especially the repeated use of “In 1960” and “In 1980,” while “same as in 2000 and 2020” does not clearly express the comparison. Grouping sectors with similar trends and using clearer transitions would create stronger progression.
Lexical Resource: Band 5.0
You use some relevant topic vocabulary, including “manufacturing,” “retail,” “agriculture,” “health care,” “demand” and “production,” so the subject is generally recognisable. However, the range is limited and several phrases are awkward or imprecise for describing a graph, such as “jobs ratio are high,” “the jobs are high,” and “production … slow down.” Some word choices also introduce unsupported interpretation, including “because of inflation” and “high demand.” Aim for precise trend language and natural collocations, such as “employment rose,” “the figure declined,” and “remained stable.” This would make the account clearer and more appropriately formal without requiring unusually advanced vocabulary.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5
The response mainly uses short, simple statements and attempts a few longer sentences, for example the explanation beginning “because of changes in weather.” However, errors are frequent and sometimes make relationships between ideas difficult to follow. Examples include “the sector of manufacturing in jobs ratio are high,” “15 million people are work there,” and “the people doesn't understand,” which show problems with sentence structure, verb forms and subject–verb agreement. Articles and plurals are also inconsistent, as in “the numbers of job.” Punctuation and sentence boundaries need attention, particularly where a new sentence begins with lowercase “same.” Practise accurate simple comparisons first, then combine them using controlled clauses.
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