Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-07
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 6.0)
The provided line graph outlines the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Overall, it is immediately apparent that retail and healthcare experinced substantial growth over the time period, whereas agriculture saw a notable decline.
Looking first at retail, it stood at 5-6 jobs in millions in 1960. This figure rose steadily over the subsequent years to reach a peak of 15-16 jobs in millions in 2020. Meanwhile, Healthcare showed increase growth, climbing from 2-3 jobs in millions in 1960 to 16-17 jobs in millions in 2020.
In contrast, agriculture experienced a downward trajectory throughout the entire timeframe. Beginning at 5-6 jobs in millions in 1960, it dropped steadily to finish at 2-3 jobs in millions in 2020. In stark contrast, manufacturing showed growth 15 jobs in million to 20 jobs in millions between 1960 and 1980 but decreased to 12-13 jobs in millions in 2020.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 6.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 6.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 6.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 6.0 |
| Overall | 6.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0
You identify the main contrasting trends: retail and healthcare rise, agriculture declines, and manufacturing peaks before falling. The figures are broadly consistent with the graph, including manufacturing’s increase to about 20 million in 1980 and its later decline. However, the overview omits the important comparison that retail and healthcare both reach roughly 16 million by 2020, and the account gives limited detail about the intermediate stages, such as healthcare’s strong growth after 1980. The response also contains 138 words, below the required 150; the 17 words copied from the prompt were not counted. Add a little more relevant comparison and detail to cover the task more fully.
Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0
The response has a clear overall arrangement: an introduction, an overview, and paragraphs describing rising and falling sectors. Linking expressions such as “Overall,” “Looking first,” “Meanwhile,” and “In contrast” help guide the reader through the comparisons. The progression is generally easy to follow, but the final paragraph places agriculture and manufacturing together without explaining their relationship, and “In stark contrast” is not quite apt because manufacturing’s pattern is mixed rather than wholly opposite to agriculture’s decline. More deliberate grouping—for example, comparing the two rising sectors before the two other trends—would make the organisation more logical and cohesion less mechanical.
Lexical Resource: Band 6.0
You use an adequate range of task-relevant vocabulary, including “substantial growth,” “peak,” “downward trajectory,” and “stark contrast.” These choices help describe trends clearly, and the meaning remains understandable throughout. Some word choices and collocations are inaccurate or awkward, however: “showed increase growth” is not natural, and “jobs in millions” is less idiomatic than “million jobs” or “the number of jobs, in millions.” There is also a spelling error in “experinced.” Aim for more precise, natural phrasing and check spelling; this would make the descriptions more fluent without needing unnecessarily complex vocabulary.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 6.0
You use a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, including clauses with “whereas,” “to reach,” and “but,” and most sentences communicate the intended trends clearly. Some grammatical errors remain. For example, “Healthcare showed increase growth” is missing an article or other grammatical construction, while “manufacturing showed growth 15 jobs” lacks a suitable preposition or linking structure. The phrase “from 2-3 jobs … to 16-17 jobs” is understandable, but the repeated unit phrasing makes the sentence structure cumbersome. Practise accurate patterns such as “rose from X million to Y million” and “increased by X million”; these will improve control while preserving your range.
See this exact question answered at other band scores. The same prompt compared across bands.
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