Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-07

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 5.5)

The chart show information about the number of jobs in [million] in four sector of the economy in the United State of America between 1960 and 2020

in 1960 the manufacturing jobs in a peack. Emploes are 15 millions and then slightly rose in 1980 they are 20 million. But they are fall down in 2000 and 2020

Retail jobs in 1960 are round about 6 million.They increas gerulally in 2020 the hights rate is 15 million. As compare to Agriculture jobs in starts they are 6 million.But they was contunisoly falling down in 2020 they are 1 million only.

In health sector they have megnificante change in 1960 they are just 2.5 million .But more oppurtutie come in the end there are 15 millions emploes

Overall in the start manufacturing are in the peak the demand was so high .Healt care and Reatil jobs are daily increases. as compare to Agriculture they are fall down .

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

You identify the main direction of change in all four sectors and include several relevant figures: manufacturing rises from 15 million to 20 million before declining, while agriculture falls from 6 million to about 2 million. Your overview also recognises that healthcare and retail grow as agriculture contracts. However, some details are inaccurate or unclear: retail reaches about 16 million in 2020, not 15 million, and healthcare rises from about 2 million to 16 million, rather than 2.5 to 15 million. The overview says manufacturing is at its peak “in the start,” although its highest point is in 1980. To strengthen the report, make the overall comparisons more precise and describe the key turning points clearly.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

The response is divided into an introduction, sector-by-sector paragraphs and an overall statement, so the reader can identify the broad topics. You also use basic linking expressions such as “But,” “As compare to” and “Overall.” However, progression is not consistently clear: the overview comes at the end, and some comparisons are difficult to follow, particularly the transition from retail to agriculture. Several sentences are fragments or run together, and repeated connectors such as “But” do not always show the relationship accurately. Organise the report with a clear overview immediately after the introduction, then group the rising sectors and declining sectors or describe each series in a consistent order. Use precise links such as “whereas” and “by contrast.”

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use some task-relevant vocabulary, including “manufacturing,” “retail,” “agriculture,” “health sector,” “increases” and “falling down,” so the main subject is generally recognisable. However, spelling and word-choice problems are noticeable and sometimes make the meaning harder to interpret: “peack,” “gerulally,” “megnificante” and “oppurtutie” appear to be attempts at “peak,” “gradually,” “significant” and “opportunities.” Some expressions are also unnatural for describing data, such as “the hights rate” and “more opportunities come.” Build a more accurate range of trend language and collocations, for example “reached a peak,” “declined steadily” and “employment rose sharply.” Check spelling and use “number of jobs” or “employment” rather than repeatedly referring to “employees.”

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5

You attempt both simple statements and longer sentences, including contrasts between sectors, but control of sentence structure is uneven. Errors in agreement and verb forms occur in examples such as “The chart show,” “they was,” and “they are fall down.” Articles, plurals and sentence boundaries also need attention: “in 1960 the manufacturing jobs in a peack” is not a complete, well-formed sentence, while several ideas are joined with full stops or commas inappropriately. These errors sometimes make relationships between figures unclear. Practise accurate past-tense reporting, since the chart covers completed years: for example, “Manufacturing employment rose to 20 million in 1980, then fell.” Use complete sentences and check subject–verb agreement, articles and punctuation.

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