Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-07

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 5.0)

The given line graph illustrates the information about various jobs in four different fields such as manufacturing, retail, agriculture and healthcare in the United States from 1960 to 2020.

Overall, both retail and healthcare sectors faced downward trend, while other two fields were showed upward trend during the given time period.

After analysing, it can be clearly seen that in 1960, healthcare sector was provided jobs to almost 2 million individuals, whereas after two decades, the value was rose by 3 million. However, in the final year, it reached to above 15 millions. In contrast, in the first year, both agriculture and retail sector was started at 6 million people, whilst retail sector was followed upward trend which is opposite to agriculture sector.

Moving further towards the remaining data during 2000, retail sector was at 15 million, whereas after twenty years, the value remained constant amd increased upto 1 million. Futher elaborating, between 1980 and 2020, agriculture sector was provided equal number of jobs to people and the value was 2 million in the final year. Further demonstatrating, 15 miullion people were did jobs in manufacturing sector which declined to 13 million in the last year.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.5

You identify all four sectors and include several relevant figures, such as healthcare rising from about 2 million jobs to over 15 million and agriculture ending at 2 million. However, the overview reverses the main trends: retail and healthcare increased, while manufacturing and agriculture declined overall. This is a major misreading of the graph and makes the summary only partially accurate. Some comparisons are also unclear or incorrect: retail did not remain constant from 2000 to 2020, but rose from 15 to 16 million, and manufacturing began at 15 million in 1960, not 1980. To improve, give an accurate overview first, then select and compare the main changes across the full period.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.0

The response has a recognisable structure, with an introduction, an overview and two detail paragraphs, and you use linking expressions such as “Overall,” “In contrast” and “Moving further.” However, progression is difficult to follow because the details are not consistently organised by sector or time period. The overview also conflicts with the figures that follow, while phrases such as “After analysing” and “Further demonstrating” do not clearly signal the relationship between ideas. Some references are hard to interpret, including “the value remained constant amd increased upto 1 million.” Group the rising sectors together and the declining sectors together, and use simpler, more precise links to make comparisons clear.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use relevant topic vocabulary, including “sector,” “jobs,” “declined” and “increased,” and the reader can generally identify the industries being discussed. However, the range is limited and several word choices or collocations are inaccurate, which sometimes makes the meaning difficult to follow. For example, “faced downward trend” is unsuitable for retail and healthcare, while “was provided jobs” and “were did jobs” are not natural ways to describe employment. There are also noticeable spelling errors, including “amd,” “Futher,” “demonstatrating” and “miullion.” Aim for accurate, straightforward expressions such as “the number of jobs rose” or “the sector employed,” and proofread carefully for spelling.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt a mixture of simple and longer sentences, using clauses with “whereas,” “while” and “which.” However, errors are frequent, and several sentence patterns are faulty enough to obscure the intended comparison. Examples include “both retail and healthcare sectors faced downward trend,” “other two fields were showed,” and “the value was rose.” There are also problems with articles, agreement and number, as in “both agriculture and retail sector was started” and “15 millions.” The sentence about retail in 2000 and 2020 is especially difficult to understand because its structure does not clearly express the change. Practise accurate past-tense forms and subject–verb agreement, and build comparisons with clear patterns such as “Retail rose from X to Y.”

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