Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-07

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 5.5)

The provided line graph demonstrate the details about the number of occupation in different sectors of the economy in the United States over a 60 year of time peroid.

Overall, it is quite evident from the graph that the retail and healthcare category shows an increasing trend, whereas the manufacturing and agriculture both shows decresing trend.

The retail and healthcare sector both showed an substantial growth in economy in given 6 decades. The retail was around 6 million in 1960 after that, the numbers of jobs drastically increased and reached upto 15 million in 2000. After in few 20 years of time interval the number of jobs no major change was observed. Moreover, in healthcare sector it was lowest sector in 1960 around 3 million only, but after there is drastic increase was seen and reached upto 15 million in 2000.

The manufacturing and agriculture both shows an opposite trend to above two sectors. In 1960, manufacturing sector was at its peak than there was an drastic declination seen after 1980's and reached upto 11 million in 2020

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

You identify the broad contrast between rising employment in retail and healthcare and falling employment in agriculture, and you include several relevant figures. However, the overview is not fully accurate: manufacturing rises from 15 million to a peak of 20 million in 1980 before declining, rather than showing a consistently decreasing trend. Some reported details also need correction: healthcare starts at about 2 million, not 3 million, and reaches about 16 million by 2020; retail rises to about 16 million in 2020, rather than remaining unchanged after 2000. The manufacturing account ends before describing agriculture, so an important series is left without supporting detail. Select the main turning points and compare the sectors more completely.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The response has a recognisable structure: an introduction, an overview, and separate paragraphs for the rising and declining sectors. This gives the reader a basic route through the information, and transitions such as “Overall” and “Moreover” help signal relationships. However, the final paragraph is incomplete: it introduces both manufacturing and agriculture but gives details only for manufacturing, leaving the discussion unbalanced. Some linking is also mechanical or unclear, as in “after that” and “After in few 20 years of time interval.” Organise the body around clear time periods or sector groups, and ensure each paragraph develops the point announced in its opening sentence.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use some relevant task vocabulary, including “increasing trend,” “drastically increased,” “peak,” and “declination,” showing an attempt to describe change rather than simply list figures. However, several word choices and collocations are inaccurate or awkward, such as “number of occupation,” “growth in economy,” and “reached upto.” Spelling errors, including “peroid,” “decresing,” and “declination,” also reduce precision. The range is sufficient to communicate the general trends, but repeated use of “number of jobs” and “drastic” limits flexibility. Build a more accurate set of trend expressions and check spelling and collocations before submitting.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

The response attempts both simple and longer sentences, and the overall meaning is usually recoverable. However, errors in agreement, articles, verb forms, and sentence construction are frequent enough to make some sentences difficult to follow. For example, “the graph demonstrate” should use a singular verb, while “the retail and healthcare category shows” does not agree with the plural sectors. The sentence beginning “After in few 20 years” has an unclear grammatical structure, and “there is drastic increase was seen” combines incompatible verb patterns. Use shorter, controlled sentences when describing each change, and practise accurate past-tense forms and subject–verb agreement before adding more complex clauses.

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