Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-07

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 5.5)

The rendered line graph elucidates the information regarding the number of jobs in different four departments of the financial states in the US, from 1960 to 2020.

In 1960, maximum number of jobs were in manufacturing department accounted for almost 15 millions which increased till 1980 (20million) and reached at aproximentaly 12 million. However, they declined in the decade. The number of jobs in retail sector started from almost 6 millions and increased throughout the period about 16 million in the last year.

Talking about agriculture, near about 6 million jobs were available in initial year, while its number declined in the next years by 3million. As regard health department, it embarked from 3 million in 1960 and reached on its in eveual year on 16million.

Having an overview, it is clear that agriculture department showed an downward trend, while healthcare sector showed an upward trend

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

You identify several important patterns: manufacturing peaks in 1980 and then declines, retail rises across the period, and agriculture falls. However, some figures and descriptions are inaccurate or unclear. Manufacturing is reported as reaching “approximately 12 million” after 1980, but the graph shows about 17 million in 2000 and 13 million in 2020; the sequence is also difficult to follow. Healthcare begins at about 2 million, not 3 million, and its rise through 5 and 11 million is omitted. The overview mentions only agriculture and healthcare, missing the key comparison that retail and healthcare both finish at around 16 million. The response is also four words below the required minimum. Include a clearer overview and report the main stages accurately.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The response has a recognisable sequence: it introduces the graph, describes sectors, and ends with an overview. Grouping manufacturing and retail before agriculture and healthcare gives the reader a basic structure, and phrases such as “However” and “while” signal contrast. Nevertheless, progression is uneven: the manufacturing sentence gives the peak and then an unclear later value before saying the figures declined, so the timeline is hard to track. “Talking about agriculture” and “As regard health department” are awkward transitions, while the overview arrives only at the end and repeats trends rather than drawing the main comparison together. Use separate, balanced paragraphs and link each sector’s figures in chronological order, then provide a concise overview of the contrasting trends and final rankings.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use some task-relevant vocabulary, including “increased,” “declined,” “throughout the period,” and “upward trend,” which helps communicate broad movements. However, the range is limited and several word choices or collocations are inaccurate or unnatural: “financial states” does not describe the US economy, “different four departments” is awkward, and “embarked from” is not suitable for describing a starting figure. There are also noticeable spelling and form errors, such as “aproximentaly” and “eveual,” which make parts of the report difficult to interpret. Prefer standard sector names and precise trend language, for example “economic sectors,” “stood at,” “rose to,” and “fell to.” Check spelling carefully and avoid decorative wording that does not add meaning.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt some complex sentence forms, including clauses with “which” and contrasts introduced by “while,” and the overall meaning is usually recoverable. However, grammatical errors are frequent and sometimes make relationships between figures unclear. For example, “maximum number of jobs were” has an agreement problem, while “manufacturing department accounted for almost 15 millions” lacks a clear grammatical construction. The sentence “reached on its in eveual year” is not understandable as written, and articles, plurals, and prepositions are often missing or misused. Sentence structures also rely heavily on simple statements joined together. Practise accurate comparisons such as “Manufacturing employment rose to 20 million in 1980 before falling to 17 million in 2000,” and check subject–verb agreement, articles, and plural forms.

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