Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-07

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 6.0)

The line graph below provides data about number of employments in four economic sectors in the US from 1960 to 2020.

Overall, it is evident that the number of jobs for manufacturing sector tends to drop over the years and healthcare experience rise.Whereas, the retail accounted for the rise with fluctuations and agriculture sector experienced a drop.

The manufacturing sector experienced a highest number of jobs than the rest of employments.In 1960 it was 15 million and rose to 20 million in 1980 with the sudden drop in 2000 and 2020. On the other hand,the healthcare sector jobs tend to rise dramatically over the years although, it had the least number of jobs with only teo million.

The retail and agriculture sector initially in 1960 comprised of only seven million jobs.However, both experienced completely different path.The retail tend to rise rapidly till 2000 and remaied almost constant till 2020.Whereas, the agricultural jobs bagan to decline till 1980 and then remained constant with a fall in 2020.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

You identify the main contrasting trends: manufacturing rises to a peak before declining, healthcare grows, retail increases, and agriculture falls. The overview also recognises that manufacturing starts as the largest sector and healthcare as the smallest. However, some details are inaccurate or unclear: retail and agriculture both begin at about six million, not seven, and healthcare reaches about 16 million by 2020 rather than simply rising without a final figure. The claim that retail remained “almost constant” after 2000 overlooks its continued increase from about 15 to 16 million. The manufacturing description would also be clearer if it stated the later values and the overall decline. More precise comparisons and accurate endpoint reporting would make the summary more complete.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The response has a recognisable structure, moving from an introduction and overview to paragraphs comparing manufacturing with healthcare and then retail with agriculture. This gives the reader a coherent overall route through the information. Linking expressions such as “On the other hand” and “Whereas” help signal contrasts, but some are used awkwardly or repeatedly, and punctuation spacing makes transitions less smooth. For example, the overview’s “Whereas” begins a fragment-like contrast, while the final paragraph shifts between the two sectors without consistently clarifying which trend is being described. Use complete, balanced comparison sentences and clearer references to each sector. This would make the progression more fluent and cohesion less mechanical.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use a reasonable range of task-related vocabulary, including “experienced,” “dramatically,” “fluctuations,” “decline,” and “remained constant.” These choices help convey changes over time, although some collocations and word forms are inaccurate or unnatural. “Number of employments” is not the usual expression for the chart; “number of jobs” or “employment” would be more suitable. “The retail accounted for the rise” is unclear, and “completely different path” is imprecise. There are also spelling errors such as “remaied,” “bagan,” and “teo.” Aim for precise trend language and check spelling, especially in key data descriptions, so that your vocabulary communicates the comparisons accurately.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You attempt both simple and more complex sentences, including contrasts with “although” and “whereas,” and the main meaning is generally understandable. However, some errors in agreement, articles, sentence boundaries, and punctuation reduce accuracy. For example, “healthcare experience rise” needs subject–verb agreement, while “the number of jobs for manufacturing sector” needs an article before “manufacturing sector.” The sentence beginning “Whereas, the retail…” is not well integrated with the preceding sentence, and several sentences run together after full stops because spaces are missing. Review agreement and article use, and make sure contrast clauses are attached to complete sentences. More consistently accurate complex sentences would strengthen the response.

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