Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-07

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 5.0)

The line graph depicts number of jobs in four sectors of the economy. The US jobs dividedes into four sector between 1960 and 2020. Manufacturing sector, Retail, Agriculture and Healthcare sector are included.

Overall, Manufacturing was the highest economy sectors, which withstand dominant throughout the years.,While Agriculture sector show declined throughout the years. But Retail and Healthcare sector reamined same.

In 1960, Manifacturing sectors began from 15 million jobs, which peaked in 1980 at 20 million jobs. Therefore, it started declined fromm 2000 to 2020. It decreased under 15 million jobs. Meanwhile, Agriculture sector has started from 6 million jobs which reached most least point ( 3 million jobs). Then it remained same for decades.

Retail sector and Healthcare sector has rose gradually. Retail sector started from 6 million jobs which shows rise in jobs. In 2000, it stabalize at 15 million jobs and slowly rise from 2003 to 2020. And it reached 16 million jobs. Healthcare began from 2 million jobs which also show rise in occupation. In 1980, Healthcare sector reached 10 million jobs afrom 2000 and 2020

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.0

You identify all four sectors and include several relevant figures, such as manufacturing rising from 15 million to 20 million before falling, and agriculture declining from 6 million to 3 million. However, the overview contains major inaccuracies: manufacturing was not the dominant sector throughout, and retail and healthcare did not remain the same. By 2020, both had reached about 16 million jobs, exceeding manufacturing at 13 million. Some details are also unclear or incorrect: healthcare rose to about 5 million in 1980, not 10 million, and the final sentence is incomplete. To strengthen the response, give a clear overview of the contrasting trends and identify the key change in ranking by the end of the period.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

The response has a recognisable structure, with an introduction, an overview and paragraphs describing the sectors. Grouping manufacturing with agriculture and retail with healthcare is a useful way to organise the data. However, progression is weakened by unclear or contradictory statements, particularly the overview’s claim that retail and healthcare “remained same” despite later describing increases. Linking words such as “Meanwhile” and “Therefore” are attempted, but some do not clearly express the relationship between ideas. The final healthcare sentence also breaks off, leaving the account unfinished. Make each paragraph follow a clear trend, use transitions only where their meaning fits, and complete the comparisons so the reader can follow the data without having to infer your point.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use some relevant vocabulary for describing trends, including “peaked,” “decreased,” “rise” and “remained.” However, the range is limited and several word-choice, collocation and spelling errors make parts of the report difficult to understand. Examples include “highest economy sectors,” “most least point,” “stabalize” and “rise in occupation.” “Withstand dominant” does not express the intended idea, and “jobs” or “employment” would be more suitable than “occupation” in this context. Aim to use a small set of accurate trend phrases consistently, such as “reached a peak,” “fell to,” and “increased steadily.” Check spelling and choose natural combinations of words before submitting.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple sentences and longer clauses, for example, “Manufacturing sectors began from 15 million jobs, which peaked in 1980.” However, errors are frequent, and some sentences are incomplete or difficult to interpret. Subject–verb agreement is inconsistent in “Retail sector and Healthcare sector has rose,” while tense and verb forms are faulty in “Agriculture sector show declined.” The sentence beginning “In 1980, Healthcare sector reached 10 million jobs” lacks a clear grammatical ending. Punctuation also causes problems, as in the overview’s misplaced full stop and comma. Practise forming complete sentences with a clear subject and verb, and use past-tense forms consistently when reporting this historical data.

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