Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-07

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 4.5)

The provided chart illustrates the information about the number of job in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 t0 2020.The data is calibrated in millions

Overall, there are four factors including manufacturing, retail, agriculture , healthcare. Moreover, the figure for retail hit its lofty point . However, the figure for agriculture reached a minor point .Whereas, the value of healthcare grew slightly.

Initially, its is vividly seen that number of jobs retail was highest point in 2020 nearly 15 millions. Whereas, the figure for agriculture reached a lowest point in 2020 approximately 3 millions. However ,the value of retail and agriculture grew slightly nearly 4%

In contrast, the value of agriculture and healthcare intersected each other in nearly 1980. While, the value of manufacturing grew slightly in started 20 years then increase slightly in 2020. furthermore, the value of manufacturing, retail and healthcare both are intersected each other in 2018.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.0

You identify the four sectors and attempt an overview, but the main features are not reported accurately or clearly enough. For example, retail and healthcare both reach about 16 million jobs in 2020, rather than retail being the sole highest sector at about 15 million; agriculture falls to about 2 million, not 3 million. The claim that retail and agriculture grew slightly is also incorrect, as agriculture declines overall. Several comparisons are inaccurate, including the supposed intersection of manufacturing, retail and healthcare in 2018. The response is also seven words below the 150-word minimum. To improve, select the major trends and give accurate comparisons across the period, supported by key figures.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.5

There is an attempt to organise the report into an introduction, an overview and further details, and linking expressions such as “Overall” and “In contrast” show an awareness of how to connect ideas. However, the progression is difficult to follow because details are repeated or placed in confusing relationships. For instance, the paragraph beginning “Initially” discusses 2020, then makes an unclear claim about growth, while the final paragraph combines several trends and an unsupported intersection. “Whereas” and “However” are also used in ways that do not consistently clarify the contrast. Group the information by meaningful trends—such as rising sectors and declining sectors—and use clear references and transitions to guide the reader.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use some task-related vocabulary, including “manufacturing,” “retail,” “agriculture,” “healthcare,” and “millions,” so the topic is generally recognisable. However, the range is limited and several choices are inaccurate or unnatural, which sometimes makes the intended meaning hard to understand. Phrases such as “hit its lofty point,” “reached a minor point,” and “grew slightly nearly 4%” do not describe graph trends appropriately; “intersected each other” is also repeated without clear support from the data. Aim for precise, conventional language for describing charts, such as “peaked at,” “fell to a low of,” “increased steadily,” and “the figures converged.” Check spelling and word forms, including “jobs” rather than “job.”

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt some longer structures, including sentences beginning with “Whereas” and “While,” and use past-tense forms to describe the period. However, the range is limited, and errors occur frequently enough to make several sentences difficult to interpret. Examples include “its is vividly seen,” “number of jobs retail was highest point,” and “manufacturing grew slightly in started 20 years.” These show problems with sentence construction, missing articles and prepositions, and verb forms. There are also sentence fragments, such as the opening “Whereas” clause, and inconsistent punctuation and spacing. Practise building complete sentences with a clear subject and verb, then check articles, plurals and tense. For example: “Manufacturing employment rose from 15 million in 1960 to 20 million in 1980.”

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