Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-07

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 4.5)

The illustrations displays the details about the number of working fields in four sector in the state of US from 1960 to 2020

overall the graph shows that the sector of Retail and healthcare are increased over the period of time Moreover the agriculture job has shown a decreased in the past years

As we can see the reatiler and healthcare department has shown a great result ove thge past few years in 1960 retail was at approxmaitely 6% however thge healthcare was around 2% as a result in 2020 it has shown an outstanding progress.MAnfacturing was at 15

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.0

You identify the broad upward trends in retail and healthcare and the decline in agriculture, which are relevant features of the graph. However, the report is very incomplete: it gives only the 1960 figures for retail and healthcare and begins a manufacturing figure without explaining its later pattern. It also omits key comparisons, including that manufacturing peaks at about 20 million in 1980 before falling, while retail and healthcare both reach roughly 16 million by 2020. The claim that retail and healthcare showed an “outstanding progress” is vague rather than a clear overview. The response is 51 words below the required minimum, leaving too little detail to summarise the main features adequately. Include a concise overview and support it with accurate figures across the period.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.5

There is a basic sequence from an introduction to an overview and then some data, and phrases such as “overall” and “As we can see” attempt to guide the reader. However, the ideas are not developed into clear paragraphs, and the final sentence stops after “Manufacturing was at 15,” so the progression is incomplete. Connections between points are also unclear: “as a result” does not express a logical consequence between the 1960 figures and the 2020 outcome. Organise the response into an introduction, an overview, and one or two detail paragraphs, grouping related trends together. Use linking expressions to show contrast or change over time, rather than relying on general transitions.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

The response uses some task-related vocabulary, including “sector,” “retail,” “healthcare,” “agriculture,” and “increased,” so the reader can identify the subject. However, the range is limited and several choices are inaccurate or awkward, such as “working fields,” “great result,” and “outstanding progress” for describing employment figures. Spelling errors—including “reatiler,” “approxmaitely,” and “MAnfacturing”—also make the writing less clear. Aim for precise chart language and consistent spelling. Useful verbs and phrases include “rose,” “declined,” “reached a peak,” and “stood at,” which describe numerical trends more naturally than evaluative expressions such as “great result.”

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple statements and a longer sentence, but grammatical control is uneven. The opening, “The illustrations displays,” has a subject–verb agreement error, and “four sector” needs a plural noun. The overview also has agreement problems in “the sector of Retail and healthcare are increased,” while “has shown a decreased” uses an incorrect verb pattern. Punctuation is frequently missing, causing several ideas to run together, and the final manufacturing statement is incomplete. These errors sometimes make relationships between ideas difficult to follow. Practise accurate simple sentences first—for example, “Retail employment increased over the period”—then combine them with clear contrast clauses and check agreement, verb forms, articles, and sentence endings.

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