Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-07
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 6.0)
The graph below illustrates the information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020. Its visible that manufacturing remained one of the top most sector of economy producing the highest number of jobs through out the year. It was eventually overtaken by the retail and healthcare sector in the year 2020.
Manufacturing sector had a gradual increase in number of jobs until 1980s, afterwards it observed its decline.Retail and the healthcare sectors are the only two sector that underwent a progressive incline over the years. By 2020, both the sectors were able to generate the highest number of jobs beating all the other sectors. Along with the manufacturing sector, agriculture sector also observed the decline in number of jobs over the years. In 1960, both retail and agriculture were the second highest sector to produce most number of jobs, but by the time 2020 arrived, agriculture ended up being the sector to generate the least number of job. In contrast, healthcare sector started as the least job producing sector in 1960s and ended up being the most job producing sector by the 2020s.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 6.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 6.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 6.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 6.0 |
| Overall | 6.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0
You identify the main broad patterns: manufacturing rises to a peak before declining, retail and healthcare grow, and agriculture falls to the lowest level. The comparison between healthcare’s low starting point and its high ending point is also relevant. However, some details are inaccurate or unclear. Retail and agriculture were tied at about six million in 1960, rather than clearly being the “second highest” sectors, and by 2020 retail and healthcare were tied at around 16 million, not simply overtaking manufacturing as separate leaders. The overview would be stronger if it stated these key rankings and the manufacturing peak of about 20 million in 1980. Some trends are described without supporting figures, so the account is not equally developed throughout.
Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0
The response has a generally coherent sequence: it introduces the graph, summarises broad trends, and then contrasts the sectors’ positions at the beginning and end. Linking expressions such as “afterwards,” “By 2020,” and “In contrast” help readers follow the comparisons. However, the organisation is somewhat mechanical, with several trends packed into one paragraph and repeated references to sectors “producing” jobs. Some connections are also imprecise: “both the sectors” is not immediately clear, and the final comparison repeats the earlier point about healthcare’s rise. Grouping the information into a clear overview followed by comparisons of rising and falling sectors, with more precise referencing, would improve progression.
Lexical Resource: Band 6.0
You use an adequate range of vocabulary for describing trends, including “gradual increase,” “decline,” “progressive incline,” and “overtaken.” These choices make the main movements understandable, and you attempt some variation rather than relying only on “increase” and “decrease.” However, several phrases are unnatural or imprecise, such as “top most sector,” “generate the least number of job,” and “most job producing sector.” “Progressive incline” is also an awkward collocation for a rising trend. Repeated use of “sector” and “number of jobs” limits flexibility. Choose standard chart language such as “largest employer,” “employment rose steadily,” and “the fewest jobs,” and use “jobs” consistently when referring to the figures.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 6.0
You use a mix of simple and more complex sentence forms, including the contrast in “In contrast, healthcare sector started…” and the time sequence marked by “until 1980s, afterwards…”. The overall meaning remains clear. Some grammatical errors persist, however: “Its visible” needs “It is visible” or “It is clear”; “sector” and “sectors” do not consistently agree with their determiners and verbs; and “until 1980s” needs an article or plural construction. There are also missing spaces after full stops, as in “decline.Retail,” and some sentence structures become awkward when several comparisons are combined. Check articles, singular/plural agreement, and punctuation, then vary sentence patterns while keeping each comparison controlled.
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