Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-07

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 5.0)

the picture illustrate the number of the jobs from all over the years between 1960 and 2020.

The given figure shows the all four section i.e manufacturing, retail, agriculture and healthcare .In the year 1980, Manufacturing growth 20 millions jobs which was the highest ranked throughout the years comparing with other section of the jobs. On the year 2000 manufacturing drop the values gradually where retails is increase too much comparing their past values.

If when we focus on the demand of agriculture it is dropping all over the given data we have. If we talked about the year 2000 ,we can see the health care is raise their demand and reached at the above 10 billions jobs which is also the good achievements on that sector. On the year 2020 , all sectors of jobs are dropped their demands except retails and healthcare.

in conclusion ,after analysing the data the valus are flactuates allover the years gaps.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.0

You identify all four sectors and report several relevant trends, including manufacturing peaking at 20 million in 1980, agriculture declining, and healthcare rising by 2000. However, the overview is unclear: “the values are flactuates” does not summarise the main pattern, and the claim that all sectors except retail and healthcare “dropped their demands” in 2020 is inaccurate, since manufacturing and agriculture fell while retail and healthcare rose or remained high. Some figures and comparisons are missing, especially the close of the period, when retail and healthcare both reached about 16 million. To strengthen the response, give a clear overview of the contrasting long-term trends and support it with accurate comparisons across the four sectors.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.0

The response has some organisation: it introduces the chart, discusses manufacturing and retail, then agriculture and healthcare, and ends with a conclusion. However, the progression is not consistently clear, and the conclusion repeats a vague idea rather than drawing together the main trends. Linking phrases such as “If when we focus” and “If we talked about” are awkward and do not clearly show how the information relates. The paragraphing also leaves the overview and comparisons difficult to follow. Group the information by meaningful trends—for example, declining agriculture, manufacturing’s rise and fall, and growth in retail and healthcare—and use straightforward links such as “By contrast” and “Overall” to guide the reader.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use some relevant chart vocabulary, including “highest,” “drop,” “increase,” and “demand,” and the sector names make the subject clear. However, the range is limited and several word choices or collocations are inaccurate, sometimes making the intended meaning difficult to interpret. For example, “manufacturing growth 20 millions jobs” and “health care is raise their demand” do not express the data naturally; “demand” is also not the same as the number of jobs shown. Spelling errors such as “valus” and “flactuates” further reduce clarity. Use precise reporting language such as “employment,” “rose to,” “fell to,” and “remained stable,” and check spelling and word forms.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

The response attempts some longer sentence forms, including “On the year 2000 manufacturing drop the values gradually where retails is increase,” but these attempts are often faulty. Errors in verb forms, agreement, articles, and sentence construction occur frequently: “the picture illustrate,” “health care is raise,” and “all sectors of jobs are dropped their demands” are examples. Punctuation and spacing are also inconsistent, with several sentences joined or separated awkwardly. These problems sometimes make the relationships between events unclear. Practise building accurate simple sentences first, such as “Manufacturing employment fell after 1980,” then combine them with controlled contrast clauses using “while” or “whereas.”

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