Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-07

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 6.0)

The line chart illustrates information about the number of jobs in four different sectors namely, manufacturing, retail, agriculture, and healthcare in the United States from 1960 to 2020.

Overall, retail and healthcare showed an upward trend. Whereas manufacturing and agriculture experienced a downward trend over the period of 50 years.

In 1960, retail accounted around 6 million jobs which increased to about 15 million in 2000, and the trend rose to almost 16 million in 2020. Moreover, healthcare sector experienced about 3 million in 1960, while in 2000, the figure surged to about 11 million. In 2020, the figure soared to around 16 million.

Furthermore, manufacturing accounted 15 million in 1960, while the figure increased to 20 million in 1980. In 2000, the figure dropped to around 13 millon. Moreover, agriculture sector experienced about 6 million in 1960, while in 1980, the figure decreased to about 3 million. In 2020, the figure fell to around 2 million.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

You identify the four sectors and report several relevant figures, including retail’s rise from about 6 million to 16 million and agriculture’s decline to around 2 million. The overview also recognises that retail and healthcare grew. However, it incorrectly describes manufacturing as having a downward trend throughout: it first rose from 15 million to 20 million before falling. The 2000 manufacturing figure is also misreported as about 13 million; it was approximately 17 million. Healthcare began at about 2 million, not 3 million. The overview would be stronger if it highlighted the key ranking change, with manufacturing initially highest and retail and healthcare reaching about 16 million by 2020. The response is one word below the 150-word minimum; the eight words copied from the prompt are excluded.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The response has a clear overall arrangement: an introduction, an overview, and two detail paragraphs grouping the growing sectors and the other sectors. This makes the information easy to follow. Linking expressions such as “Moreover” and “Furthermore” help connect points, although their repeated use makes the progression somewhat mechanical. The overview’s “Whereas” sentence is also separated from the preceding sentence, leaving the contrast less smoothly connected. In addition, “the figure” is repeated several times, so some references are less precise than they could be. To improve, use a wider range of comparisons and transitions, and make each paragraph develop a clear comparison—for example, contrasting manufacturing’s peak with the later growth of retail and healthcare.

Lexical Resource: Band 6.0

You use an adequate range of task-related vocabulary, including “accounted,” “increased,” “surged,” “dropped,” and “decreased,” and the meaning is generally clear. Some choices are repetitive: “the figure” appears repeatedly, and “rose,” “surged,” and “soared” describe similar increases without adding much precision. There are also collocation and word-form issues, such as “accounted around 6 million jobs” and “healthcare sector experienced about 3 million”; more natural phrasing would be “there were around 6 million jobs in retail” and “healthcare employed about 2 million people.” The spelling “millon” is incorrect. Aim for precise sector-specific wording and check spelling, while avoiding overly dramatic verbs for straightforward changes.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You use a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, including clauses with “while” and “which,” and most sentences communicate the intended trend clearly. Some grammatical errors remain. For example, “retail accounted around 6 million jobs” is missing “for,” and “the figure decreased to about 3 million” needs a more complete construction such as “the figure decreased from 6 million to about 3 million.” The overview fragment beginning “Whereas manufacturing…” is not a complete sentence as written; connect it to the previous sentence or use “Manufacturing and agriculture, by contrast, experienced declines overall.” There are also missing articles in phrases such as “healthcare sector.” More accurate sentence patterns and careful proofreading would improve control without sacrificing the range of structures you attempt.

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