Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-07

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 5.5)

The line graph provides the information of number of jobs in millions in US between 1960 and 2020 in four different sectors of economy.

Overall, retail and healthcare gained significant number of jobs in 2020. Employment in manufacturing and agriculture sector showed a downward trend.

In 1960, manufacturing sector secured highest number of jobs, at 15 million. In 1980 its figure rose to 20 million, making it the sector with larger number of jobs. While its ratio declined to approximately 17 million in 2000 and 13 million in 2020.Agriculture sector showed a decline in the following years with equal number opportunities in 1980 and 2000 at, 3.5 million. However, emploment ratio further dropped to 2 million in 2020.

Retail sector grew throughout the period with 10 million profession in 1980, 15 million in 2000 and 12 million in 2020 respectively. Profession in Healthcare sector surged in following years, with 5 million occupation in 1980, 12 million in 2000 and 15.5 million in 2020 respectively.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

You identify the main contrast between the growing retail and healthcare sectors and the declining agriculture sector, and you include several relevant figures. However, some key data are inaccurate: retail rises to 16 million in 2020, not 12 million, while healthcare reaches about 16 million, not 15.5 million. Agriculture is about 3 million in both 1980 and 2000, rather than 3.5 million. The overview also says manufacturing declined, but does not clearly summarise its peak in 1980 or note that retail and healthcare finish level as the largest sectors. These omissions and misreadings make the account only partly complete; check the final values and make the overall comparisons more precise.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

The response has a recognisable structure: an introduction, an overview, and two paragraphs grouping the declining and rising sectors. This gives the reader a basic route through the information. However, progression within the detail paragraphs is not always smooth. The manufacturing sentence beginning “While its ratio declined” is a fragment, and the transition from manufacturing to agriculture is abrupt. The final paragraph lists retail and healthcare figures, but the comparison between their similar endpoint is not made explicit. Linking words such as “However” are used, but do not always clarify the relationship between points. Use complete sentences and organise each paragraph around a clear comparison to make the progression more coherent.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use some relevant chart vocabulary, including “downward trend,” “declined,” “grew throughout the period” and “surged,” so the main movements are generally understandable. However, several choices are inaccurate or unnatural for describing employment data. “Secured highest number of jobs,” “ratio declined,” “10 million profession” and “12 million occupation” do not express the figures naturally; use terms such as “recorded,” “number of jobs” and “employment.” There is also a spelling error in “emploment.” Repetition of “sector” and “number” limits flexibility, while some attempted alternatives obscure meaning. Aim for precise, conventional collocations rather than replacing “jobs” with unrelated nouns.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You attempt both simple statements and more complex forms, including “making it the sector with larger number of jobs” and a sentence beginning “While.” However, control is uneven, and some structures are incomplete or awkward. “While its ratio declined to approximately 17 million in 2000 and 13 million in 2020” is a dependent clause without a main clause. The opening also needs articles and a more accurate noun pattern (“the number of jobs … in the US”), while “manufacturing and agriculture sector” requires plural agreement or separate articles. Missing spacing after “2020.” and the comma in “at, 3.5 million” also affect punctuation. Build complete clauses and check articles, agreement and sentence boundaries.

See this exact question answered at other band scores. The same prompt compared across bands.

Browse more IELTS Writing model answers or get your own writing scored by the same AI examiner.