Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-07
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 4.5)
The line graph illustrates about the number of jobs in four sector of the economy in the united states from 1960 to 2020.
overall, over the 60 years period the healthcare and retail sector was increased. In contrast, the manufacturing and agriculture was decreased.
In 1960, retail stood at all most 7 millions after 20 years the sector sharply increased which is 10 millions. Moreover
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 4.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 4.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 4.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.0
The response identifies the chart’s subject and gives a broad overview that healthcare and retail rose while manufacturing and agriculture fell. However, it reports only a small part of the data: it mentions retail in 1960 and 1980, then stops mid-sentence after “Moreover”. It omits the other sectors’ figures and the important comparisons, including healthcare’s rise and its eventual level alongside retail, and manufacturing’s peak followed by decline. The overview also overgeneralises by saying manufacturing decreased across the period, although it first rose to a high point in 1980. The response is substantially below the required 150 words, so the task is addressed only minimally. Include a complete overview and select key figures and comparisons for all four sectors.
Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.5
There is a basic attempt to organise the response: an opening sentence is followed by an overview and then a detail paragraph. The sequence from the general trend to a specific retail figure is understandable, and “In contrast” signals a comparison. However, the response ends abruptly with “Moreover”, leaving the final idea incomplete and preventing a clear progression through the chart. The detail paragraph covers only one sector, while the other series are not organised or compared. The overview is also separated from supporting details without enough development. Complete the paragraph, group related trends (for example, rising sectors and declining sectors), and use linking phrases to guide the reader through the comparisons.
Lexical Resource: Band 5.0
The vocabulary is sufficient to identify the chart and communicate a few basic trends, using terms such as “line graph”, “sector”, “increased” and “decreased”. There is some relevant data language in “stood at” and “millions”, but the range is limited and several choices are inaccurate or awkward, which makes the description less precise. For example, “about the number of jobs” is an unnatural opening, and “sharply increased” is not well supported by the limited figures given. Spelling and word-form issues are also noticeable in “united states” and “all most”. Aim for accurate chart vocabulary and more precise trend descriptions, such as “rose from” or “declined to”.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0
The response uses a few simple sentence patterns to convey the topic and broad trends, and the meaning is generally recoverable. However, the range is narrow, and errors occur in basic sentence construction and agreement. In “the healthcare and retail sector was increased”, the subject is plural and the passive form is inappropriate for describing a trend; “healthcare and retail increased” would be clearer. Similarly, “the manufacturing and agriculture was decreased” has an agreement problem and an unsuitable verb form. The opening sentence also lacks a natural grammatical construction, while “the 60 years period” needs a possessive form. Practise accurate simple clauses first, then add comparisons using controlled complex sentences.
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