Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-07
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 6.0)
The line graph compare numbers of job oppurntunies in different fields of economy in the US from 1960 to 2020. The figures of jobs are in millions. Overall, in manufacturing and agricultural sectors numbers of job vacancy decreased. Whereas, in healthcare and retails business number of job vacancy increased.
Looking first at, manufacturing industry, in 1960 nearly 15 millions people were working which was the highest numbers in all four sectors, in 1980 the numbers rose to 20 millions. In contrast, in 2020, the job positions went down approximately to 13 millions. Second economy is agriculture sector, over the period job market was falled down. In 1960, nearly 6 millions jobs were available, the digits halved to 3 millions in the year 1980, then in 2000 jobs remained same. Whereas, in 2020 reduced to 2 millions.
Another two sectors had significant growth as compare with manufacturing and agriculture sectors. Healthcare had the lowest numbers in the initital year 1960. The line graph of this field considerably rose. In 1980, 5 millions of people were working which doubled in the year 2000, and numbers ended at 16 millions in 2020. Similarly, in retail industry, the starting job opening in the 1960 was 6 millions, same as agriculture field but, in 2020 increased to 10 millions, however in 2020 it reached to 15 millions and lastly, in 2020 ended up with vey small increament as 16 millions.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 6.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 6.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.5 |
| Overall | 6.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0
The response identifies the main contrast: manufacturing and agriculture decline overall, while retail and healthcare grow. It also selects relevant figures, including manufacturing’s peak at 20 million in 1980 and agriculture’s fall from 6 million to 2 million. However, some comparisons and stages are unclear or inaccurate. Retail rises to 10 million in 1980 and 15 million in 2000, but the response says it increased to 10 million “in 2020” before giving later figures, making the trend difficult to follow. Manufacturing’s 2000 figure is omitted, and the overview could more clearly note that retail and healthcare both finish at about 16 million, while manufacturing remains the largest sector until 2000. More precise reporting of these key comparisons would make the summary more complete and clear.
Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0
The response has a recognisable structure: an introduction and overview are followed by paragraphs covering the declining sectors and then the growing sectors. This gives the reader a generally coherent route through the information. Some linking is effective, such as “Looking first” and “Similarly,” but transitions are occasionally mechanical or confusing. The retail account repeats “in 2020” several times, and “however” does not clearly signal the relationship between the figures that follow. The phrase “Another two sectors” also introduces the final paragraph without a precise comparison. Grouping each sector’s figures in chronological order and using clearer links between years and comparisons would improve progression and cohesion.
Lexical Resource: Band 5.5
There is enough vocabulary to describe the graph, including “rose,” “remained,” “doubled,” and “reached,” and the reader can generally understand the intended trends. However, several choices are inaccurate or unnatural for this task: “job vacancy” is used for total employment, “digits” refers to the figures rather than the number of jobs, and “job market was falled down” is not an appropriate collocation. Spelling errors such as “oppurntunies,” “initital,” and “increament” also reduce control. Aim for precise, consistent terms such as “number of jobs” or “employment,” and use standard trend language. This would make the account more natural and exact.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5
The response attempts a mix of simple and more complex sentences, including contrast clauses with “whereas” and “however,” and most of the intended meaning remains understandable. Some grammatical errors nevertheless recur. The opening should be “The line graph compares,” and “numbers of job vacancy decreased” needs a plural or singular construction such as “the number of jobs decreased.” There are also tense and verb-form problems in “job market was falled down,” while “in 2020 reduced to 2 millions” lacks a clear subject. Articles, agreement, and plural forms are inconsistent in phrases such as “the highest numbers.” More reliable sentence patterns and careful checking of subjects, verbs, and noun number would improve accuracy.
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