Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-07

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 5.5)

The line graph given below, provides the information of four economy sectors creation number of jobs in US between 1960 and 2020.

Overall, number of jobs in manufacturing department, a gradual rise came and went down at the same point where it started rising. Jobs in retail shown a dramatical rise throughout the time period. Wheareas, jobs in agriculture remained at the lowest point in the whole time. as far as heathcare concerned, a giagantic rise from down to upward without any drawback.

In 1960 jobs in manufacturing start rising from 15 million and rose at 20 million in 1980 then fell continuously to 14 million until 2020. Job in retail had annonemous rise from the bottom at 6 million in 1960. there was no clue of downfall as it went up throughout the time until 2020.

In agriculture sector, there was not a lot of jobs created as it fell down throughout the years from 1960 to 2020. healthcare department had shown a very possative impact as it stood at 3 million in 1960 and leterly it did not came back down as its increased to 15 million at the end of 2020.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

You identify the main direction of change in all four sectors and provide an overview, noting manufacturing’s rise and subsequent fall, retail’s growth, agriculture’s low position, and healthcare’s strong increase. Most figures are broadly aligned with the graph, including manufacturing at 15 million in 1960 and 20 million in 1980. However, some details are inaccurate or too vague: healthcare starts at about 2 million, not 3 million, and retail rises from 6 to about 16 million, but its intermediate values are not reported. Agriculture falls to around 3 million by 1980, stays level to 2000, then declines to 2 million, rather than simply falling throughout. More precise comparisons and a clearer account of these stages would make the summary more complete.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

The response has a recognisable structure: an introduction, an overview, and two detail paragraphs. This helps the reader follow the broad subject and separates general trends from some figures. However, progression within paragraphs is uneven, and several links are unclear or mechanical. For example, “Whereas” begins a fragment after the overview, while “as far as healthcare concerned” does not connect smoothly to the preceding point. The detail paragraphs also treat sectors separately without consistently comparing their relative levels or changes. Use complete, clearly linked sentences and group related trends—for example, the two rising sectors—so that comparisons guide the reader through the data.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use some relevant task vocabulary, including “gradual rise,” “fell,” and “throughout the time period,” and the reader can generally identify the trends you mean. However, the range is limited and several word choices or collocations are inaccurate or informal, which sometimes makes the description difficult to interpret. Phrases such as “creation number of jobs,” “dramatically rise,” “bottom,” and “positive impact” are not natural ways to describe this graph. There are also noticeable spelling errors, including “Wheareas,” “heathcare,” and “giagantic.” Aim for precise, neutral reporting language such as “the number of jobs,” “increased steadily,” and “remained the smallest sector,” and check spelling carefully.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and more extended sentence forms, and the overall meaning is usually recoverable. However, control is inconsistent, particularly in verb forms, articles, and sentence construction. Examples include “manufacturing start rising,” “it did not came back down,” and “as its increased,” where the verb forms are incorrect. The opening sentence also has an unnecessary comma after “below” and an awkward structure, while “as far as healthcare concerned” is missing a required verb. Some sentences become fragments, such as “Whereas, jobs in agriculture remained at the lowest point.” Practise accurate past-tense reporting and build complete sentences with clear subjects and verbs before adding more complex clauses.

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