Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-07

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 5.5)

The line graph represents the information about quantity of jobs available in the four scetor of the US economy between 1960 and 2020. It is quite evident that Retail and Healthcare departments had dominate after entering the 2000 centuary, while manufacturing has the highest job overall, also agriculture department had the least contribution in the economy.

It can be seen from the graph that after mid-90s the number of available jobs in the manufacturing department is the maximum with 15 million. The Retail and Agriculture had equal contribution in the market which was approx 6 million. The healthcare sector had the lowest number of jobs which is near to 2 million. After this, In the end of the 90th centuary the jobs market has experienced changes where manufacturing sector remained at the top with 20 million jobs, and Reatil and Healthcare sector also followed the growing trend where (retail had appoximately 10 million jobs and healthcare has grown to 5 million). However the trend in agriculture sector kept declined. Then after, in the year 2000 manufacturing sector experienced drastic drop of 16 million. But the Healthcare and retail sector had 11 million and 15 million jobs. Although, Agriculture did not cope up with the upward trend. During 2020 Retaila anf Healthcare won the trend and dominated with nearly more than 15 million jobs but in manufacturing the trend reduced to approx 14 million. Nevertheless, agriculture does not able to join the trend.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

You identify the four sectors and describe the broad contrast between manufacturing’s early lead, the growth of retail and healthcare, and agriculture’s decline. However, several details are inaccurate or unclear: the graph begins in 1960, not the “mid-90s”; manufacturing peaks at 20 million in 1980, not at the end of the 1990s; and its 2000 figure is about 17 million, rather than 16. The overview also says manufacturing had the highest number “overall”, although by 2020 retail and healthcare are joint leaders at about 16 million. To strengthen the response, give a concise, accurate overview of the main changes, then report the four dates and key comparisons without introducing unsupported periods.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

There is an attempt to organise the response chronologically, and the opening paragraph provides a general summary before the details. However, the progression is difficult to follow because the time references are inaccurate or vague, such as “after mid-90s” and “in the end of the 90th century”, despite the graph showing four specific years. The long second paragraph also combines several periods and comparisons, making the sequence harder to track. Linking phrases such as “After this”, “Then after” and “Nevertheless” are repetitive or do not clearly show the relationship between ideas. Use separate paragraphs for the overview and the data, and structure the details around 1960, 1980, 2000 and 2020 with clear comparisons.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use some relevant chart vocabulary, including “sector”, “trend”, “contribution” and “dominated”, and the reader can generally understand which industries you mean. However, the range is limited and several word choices or collocations are unnatural, for example “quantity of jobs available”, “departments had dominate” and “won the trend”. Repetition of “sector”, “jobs” and “trend” also reduces precision. There are noticeable spelling errors, including “scetor”, “centuary”, “Reatil” and “appoximately”, which detract from clarity. Build a more accurate set of terms for describing figures and movement, such as “employment”, “rose”, “declined”, “peaked” and “jointly recorded”, and check spelling carefully.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

The response attempts longer sentences and some subordinate clauses, but the structures are often faulty, and errors occur frequently enough to make parts of the account difficult to read. For example, “Retail and Healthcare departments had dominate” has an incorrect verb form, while “agriculture does not able to join the trend” lacks the required auxiliary. Tense control is also inconsistent when describing past data, as in “manufacturing sector experienced drastic drop” followed by “the trend reduced”. Articles, agreement and sentence boundaries need attention as well. Practise writing clear past-tense comparisons, such as “Manufacturing fell to about 17 million in 2000, while retail rose to 15 million.” Vary sentence patterns, but prioritise accurate basic clauses.

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