Band 4.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-07

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 4.0)

Here, then line graph demonstrates America jobs in four sectors of the economy in the year 1960 and 2020

Overall, it could br observed that manufacturing sactor was providing highest jobs in the year 1960 among all given sectors; however, after hiting its peak in two decads it fall drastically

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 3.0

The response identifies one relevant feature: manufacturing had the highest employment in 1960 and reached a peak around 1980 before declining. However, it does not summarise the graph adequately: it gives no figures, omits the trends in retail, agriculture and healthcare, and does not compare the sectors in 2020. The overview is also incomplete, since healthcare and retail both rise substantially and finish at about 16 million jobs, while agriculture declines. The response contains 41 words, well below the required 150; the nine words copied from the prompt are excluded from that count. To address the task, include a clear overview and select key figures and comparisons across the period.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.5

There is a basic attempt to organise the response: an opening sentence introduces the graph, followed by a separate overview paragraph beginning “Overall”. The contrast signalled by “however” also helps connect the manufacturing peak with its later decline. However, the response is too brief to show a clear progression through the main features, and the second paragraph ends without completing the comparison or explaining what happened to the other sectors. The opening sentence is also awkwardly formed, which makes the relationship between the graph and the years less clear. Develop the response into an introduction, an overview and one or two paragraphs grouping the sector trends, using clear links such as “by contrast” and “while” where appropriate.

Lexical Resource: Band 4.5

The response uses some relevant vocabulary for describing a graph, including “sectors”, “highest”, “peak” and “drastically”, so the main point about manufacturing is understandable. However, the range is very limited because only one sector’s trend is described, and several word choices or spellings are inaccurate: “sactor” should be “sector”, “hiting” should be “hitting”, and “decads” should be “decades”. “Providing highest jobs” is also an unnatural collocation; use “employing the most people” or “having the highest number of jobs”. Build a wider set of accurate trend phrases, such as “rose steadily”, “fell gradually” and “remained relatively stable”, and apply them to all four sectors.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5

The response attempts a complex contrast with “however” and uses an overview marker, “Overall”, showing some awareness of how to structure a report. Nevertheless, the two sentences contain several grammatical problems. “Here, then line graph demonstrates” lacks a clear article and has an awkward sentence structure; “in the year 1960 and 2020” should refer to the period or the years. In the second sentence, “it could br observed” has a misspelled verb form, and “manufacturing sactor was providing” uses an unsuitable tense for describing chart data. The clause “after hiting its peak … it fall” also needs consistent past-tense forms. Practise accurate present-tense reporting and past-tense descriptions of the historical data, with complete, clearly formed sentences.

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