Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-07

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 6.0)

The graph provides data regarding the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020. Overall, there is a massive growth in the number of jobs in the feild of healthcare. In contrast, a steady decline in the sector of manufacturing is reported.

The graphs demonstrates a steady increament in the retail rector. In the year 1960 the number of jobs in this sector where about 6 millions. However, in year 2020 it raised to about 16 millions jobs. Similarly, the jobs in healthcare went from arround 3 millions in 1960 to about 16 millions in 2020. The data demonstrates that health sector had a steady and massive growth throughout the years. The jobs in manufacturing peaked in 1980, going as far as 20 millions. However after this growth it faced a continuous decline. The data demonstrates that the employment in this sector lowered down to almost 13 millions in 2020. Additionally, from 1960 to 2020, the department of agriculture is going down year after year. From 6 millions jobs in 1960, it went to even less than 3 millions jobs in 2020.

In conclusion, the data ellaborates that manufacturing and agriculture sectors had a decrease in the number of job. In contrast, retail and healthcare feilds had a enormous increased in the number of jobs.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 7.0

The response identifies the main overall contrast accurately: healthcare and retail rise, while manufacturing and agriculture decline. It also selects useful details, including manufacturing’s peak of about 20 million jobs in 1980 and its fall to around 13 million by 2020, as well as retail’s increase to approximately 16 million. However, some figures and trends are misreported: healthcare starts at about 2 million, not 3 million, and agriculture falls to about 2 million in 2020 rather than “less than 3” (which is broadly imprecise). The claim that manufacturing declined steadily is also too broad, since it first rose to a peak. The overview and supporting comparisons are clear, but greater precision and a fuller account of the series would strengthen the report.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

The response has a recognisable structure, moving from an introduction and overview to details and a concluding summary. Comparisons are also signalled with words such as “In contrast,” “Similarly,” and “Additionally.” However, progression within the body is not consistently clear: retail and healthcare are discussed together, then manufacturing and agriculture, but the final conclusion repeats the overview rather than adding a useful synthesis. Some linking is mechanical or repetitive, particularly the repeated “The data demonstrates.” The phrase “The graphs demonstrates” also creates a distracting break in flow. Grouping the rising sectors and falling sectors more deliberately, and using clearer references between sentences, would make the organisation easier to follow.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

The response uses relevant vocabulary for describing trends, including “growth,” “decline,” “peaked,” and “continuous decline,” so the main information is generally understandable. However, the range is limited and several word-choice, collocation, and spelling problems reduce precision. Examples include “retail rector” for “retail sector,” “increament,” “ellaborates,” and “a enormous increased.” Phrases such as “lowered down” and “going as far as” are also awkward for describing chart data. Repetition of “jobs,” “sector,” and “data demonstrates” further limits flexibility. Aim for accurate, natural trend language and check spelling and word forms; this will make the report more concise and appropriately formal.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

The response attempts a mixture of simple and more complex sentences, including contrast clauses beginning with “However” and a time phrase such as “from 1960 to 2020.” Nevertheless, errors occur frequently enough to make some sentences awkward. For example, “The graphs demonstrates” has a subject–verb agreement error, while “the number of jobs … where about 6 millions” contains errors in verb form and number. “In year 2020 it raised” is missing an article and uses an unclear verb construction, and “a enormous increased” has problems with article use and grammatical form. There is also inconsistent control of singular and plural forms. Practise accurate sentence patterns for reporting figures, especially articles, agreement, and plural nouns, before adding more complex structures.

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