Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-07

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 5.5)

The line graph depicts information about different number of jobs in four areas the United States from year1960 to 2020 .The data here calibrated in millions.

It was observed from the data initially highest number of jobs were their in manufacturing sector but as the time passes healthcare and retail sector achieve that position and their was a downfall in the job oppurtunities of other two sectors healthcare and agriculture.

The graph represents that in 1960 largest jobs were in manufacturing sector and with the passage of time their was a significiant growtht twenty million were in this sector by the year 1980 but, afterwards gradual decline and it reached approximate thirteen millions by the year 2020.

However, in the year 1960 there were nearly2.5 million jobs in healthcare sector as the time passed it showed slow but steady growth in next two decades and thereafter a steep rise continues at by 2015 it overleads manufacturing sector and reached to its maximum value approximetely 16 millions by the year 2020 which is equal to retail sector in the same year. Although, agriculture sector levelled down throughtout the peiod it started at 5 millions but finished at nearly 2.5 million by 2020.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

You identify the main broad patterns: manufacturing begins as the largest sector and then declines, while healthcare and retail rise; agriculture falls. You also include useful figures, such as manufacturing reaching 20 million in 1980 and ending at about 13 million. However, some details are inaccurate or unclear: retail is not mentioned in the body despite its substantial rise from 6 to 16 million, and healthcare does not overtake manufacturing by 2015 according to the supplied data. The overview also says healthcare and retail “achieve that position,” although only healthcare and retail tie for the lead in 2020. Agriculture starts at about 6 million, not 5, and healthcare at about 2 million. More precise comparisons and a clearer overview would make the account more complete.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

The response has a recognisable progression from an introduction to an overview and then descriptions of individual sectors. This gives the reader a basic route through the information. However, the organisation is weakened because retail’s trend is largely omitted, while healthcare and agriculture are combined in one long final sentence. Several linking expressions, including “However,” “thereafter,” and “Although,” do not clearly signal the relationship between the data that follows, and the overview repeats ideas later rather than setting out the key comparisons cleanly. Use separate, balanced paragraphs for the overview and the main trends, and group sectors by contrasting movement—for example, rising sectors versus declining sectors. Clearer referencing would also help readers follow which sector each pronoun refers to.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use some task-relevant vocabulary, including “gradual decline,” “steady growth,” and “steep rise,” which helps describe changes over time. However, the range is limited and several word choices or collocations are inaccurate or awkward, such as “achieve that position,” “overleads,” and “jobs were their in manufacturing.” Spelling errors—including “significiant,” “oppurtunities,” and “approximetely”—are noticeable and reduce the accuracy of the report. Some phrases are also imprecise: “levelled down” is not a natural way to describe agriculture’s overall decline. Aim for standard chart language and check spelling carefully; accurate verbs such as “rose,” “fell,” “peaked,” and “remained stable” would make the trends clearer.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and more complex sentences, including clauses introduced by “as” and “although,” and the overall meaning is generally recoverable. However, complex sentences are often poorly controlled, and errors in sentence boundaries, articles, agreement, and verb forms sometimes make the relationships between ideas difficult to follow. For example, “as the time passes healthcare and retail sector achieve that position” has problems with tense and subject agreement, while “it showed slow but steady growth in next two decades” lacks an article and has an unclear time reference. Punctuation is also inconsistent, particularly in the long sentence beginning “However.” Practise building shorter, complete sentences first, then combine them with accurate clauses and consistent past-tense reporting.

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