Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-07

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 6.0)

The provided line graph liisutrates the number of employment opportunity in four fields such as manufacturing, retail, agriculture and healthcare in the United States market for 6 decades starting from 1960 to 2020.

Overall, there was a surge for job availability in two sectors and other two fields in the US market had a fall in from the initial to the latest year. In fact, healthcare and retail department was accounted for highest number of job by ending period.

Focusing on the increasing line first, in 1960, there are approximately 2.5 million jobs, which is considered as the lowest compared to all other sectors. However, it had a constant growth through out the period and by the 2020 it was reported with greatest number of jobs. Similarly, Retail sector also had a subsequent growth, initially there were only 5 million jobs in this fields, which increaased to 10 million in 1980 than after 20 years it had there were 15 million jobs and lastly recorded for more than 15 million in 2020.

Conversely, two sectors had a pummet nature. agriculture department was accounted for slightly above than 5 million jobs. Afterwards, it had a constant fall till the 2020, with the lowest job opportunity. Lastly, manufacturing is the only sector with the great number of jobs of 15 million available in 1960

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

You identify the broad pattern that healthcare and retail rise while agriculture declines, and you include several relevant figures, such as retail increasing from about 5 million to over 15 million. However, some key details are inaccurate or incomplete: healthcare starts at about 2 million, not 2.5 million, and manufacturing rises to 20 million in 1980 before falling to 13 million by 2020. The overview says two sectors fall, but does not clearly distinguish manufacturing’s rise-then-fall from agriculture’s steady decline. The final manufacturing point is also left unfinished, so its later trend is not reported. A clearer overview and more balanced coverage of all four lines would make the summary more complete.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.5

The response has a recognisable structure: an introduction, an overview, and separate paragraphs for rising and declining sectors. This gives the reader a generally coherent route through the information. Linking phrases such as “Overall,” “Similarly,” and “Conversely” help signal comparisons, and the retail figures are presented in chronological order. However, the final paragraph ends abruptly after the 1960 manufacturing figure, disrupting progression and leaving the comparison incomplete. Some connections are also awkward or unclear, particularly “In fact” before the overview’s highest-job claim and “than after 20 years” in the retail sequence. To strengthen cohesion, complete each trend description and use clear time markers consistently, while avoiding transitions that do not express the intended relationship.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use a reasonable range of topic vocabulary, including “surge,” “constant growth,” “recorded,” and “initially,” and the main subject remains understandable. However, several choices are inaccurate or unnatural for describing employment data. “Employment opportunity” is better expressed as “jobs” or “employment,” while “US market” and “department” do not accurately name economic sectors. “Pummet nature” is unclear, and “subsequent growth” is less natural than “steady increase.” There are also spelling errors, including “liisutrates” and “increaased,” which reduce precision. Aim for straightforward, accurate collocations rather than ornate wording: terms such as “rose,” “declined,” “peaked,” and “the number of jobs” are well suited to this task.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You attempt both simple and more complex sentences, including clauses introduced by “which” and “However,” and the overall meaning is usually recoverable. Some grammatical errors remain, especially with agreement, articles, and sentence construction. For example, “healthcare and retail department was accounted” has a plural subject and an incorrect passive pattern; “there are approximately” also shifts into the present tense when describing past data. The retail sentence, “than after 20 years it had there were 15 million jobs,” combines incompatible structures and is difficult to follow. In addition, “agriculture department was accounted for” is not a well-formed sentence pattern. Use past tense consistently and check each sentence for a clear subject and verb; shorter, controlled comparisons would improve accuracy while retaining some complex structures.

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