Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-07

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 5.5)

The stated graph shows the data relevent to the quantities of jobs among the four sectors of economy in the US in the time period of 1960 to 2020. Shortage and growth of millions of jobs information in the recent 60 years are described.

It has been seen that retails and healthcare system upbrings the number of jobs continous in the last 60 years. Althought, healthcare job market was much shrinked in 1960 but it also gain boost and become equivalent to the retail jobs which is currently 15 millions jobs in 2020.

On the contrast, manufacturing and agriculture jobs market crashed in 2020 as compared to the 1960. However, manufacturing field produced additional 5 millions jobs in their very first 20 years but its jobs evaporated with passage of time. Althought, agriculture job sector reduced number of few millions jobs in first 20 years and fluctuate in upcoming years.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

You identify the broad contrast between rising employment in retail and healthcare and falling employment in agriculture, and you note manufacturing’s early rise followed by decline. However, the overview is not fully accurate or sufficiently specific: healthcare and retail reach about 16 million jobs each in 2020, rather than 15 million, and manufacturing remains at about 13 million rather than simply “crashed.” The description of agriculture as fluctuating is also unclear; it falls from about 6 million to 3 million, stays level, then declines slightly. To strengthen the response, give a clear overview of the main rankings and changes, and support it with accurate comparisons across the four years.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The response has a recognisable progression: an introduction, a paragraph about the rising sectors, and a contrast involving manufacturing and agriculture. Linking phrases such as “On the contrast” and “However” help signal relationships between ideas. Nevertheless, the organisation is compressed, and the overview is mixed with details rather than clearly separated. Some connections are difficult to follow, particularly “Although, agriculture job sector reduced number of few millions jobs in first 20 years and fluctuate in upcoming years.” Use a distinct overview after the introduction, then group the sectors by trend and compare their figures in a logical sequence. More precise referencing would also make the relationships between the trends clearer.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You attempt a range of vocabulary, including “quantities,” “equivalent,” “additional,” and “evaporated,” and the reader can generally identify the trends you mean. However, several choices are inaccurate or unnatural for describing a graph: “shortage and growth of millions of jobs,” “retails,” “upbrings,” and “jobs evaporated” do not express the data clearly. There are also noticeable spelling and word-form errors, such as “relevent,” “continous,” and “Althought.” Prefer standard trend language and accurate collocations, for example, “employment increased steadily” or “the number of jobs declined.” This would make the description more precise and easier to read.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You use both simple statements and attempts at more complex sentences, including clauses beginning with “Although” and “as compared to.” However, control is inconsistent, and errors sometimes make the intended relationships unclear. For example, “it also gain boost and become equivalent” has incorrect verb forms, while “manufacturing and agriculture jobs market crashed” has problems with agreement and sentence construction. The opening sentence also lacks a natural grammatical structure. Practise forming accurate past-tense comparisons and checking subject–verb agreement, articles, and plural forms. Shorter, well-controlled sentences would help communicate the trends reliably before you add more complex structures.

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